


We are the same

by MrsBQ (Sams1310)



Category: Impractical Jokers
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Daydreaming, Decisions, Destiny, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, Roleplay, Secrets, Teasing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2018-06-01 06:27:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 48,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6504439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sams1310/pseuds/MrsBQ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lea gets a surprise from her best friend to help her through a tough time, little did she know her daydreams may pay off!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A day like any other

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first try at fanfic so let's see how it goes. All comments welcome, after all reading all of yours inspired me!! <3

It was just a normal day, started like any other and Lea didn't feel like she could cope once again. 

It had been like this for a while now she didn't feel her worth in life, she had worked hard and was in a relationship but still felt like a failure. There was no doubt her family loved her but being the rebellious one in her younger years made her feel small in comparison to her sister and a disappointment to her family and partner. 

It was then that Lea got that text, the one she didn't think she would ever see. Her best friend letting her know she's managed to get tickets to see Impractical Jokers on their UK tour, off to London! She couldn't contain herself, a stupid grin spreading across her face but a slight disappointment with missing out on meet and greet tickets. These guys were her heroes on the bad days they would make her realise there was still laughter in the world!! 

She quickly dialled her boyfriend. 

"Hey, beautiful!" Rick stated when answering his phone

"Guess what baby, she got them, she got the tickets!! She is amazing" exclaimed Lea, giving as much credit to her best friend as she possibly could. She couldn't realise but hear a sigh on the end of the phone

"What's wrong?" She asked in anticipation 

"I really didn't think you would need to ask that, I don't see why you want to go but if it makes you happy go!! It's not like any of them are going to whisk you away is it, I mean let's face it"

Lea felt the weight of the world on her shoulders once again, not worthy of being able to be happy and being reminded of this by the one that she loved. She closed the call with a gentle laugh and went on with the rest of her day. 

A couple of hours later her phone went off, not wanting to look at it with fear of what it could be, she made her way slowly to the arm of the sofa, shuffling her feet along the way, it was a message from her friend, Dee. They had been friends for years now and understood each other 100% without needing to use words. She slid her phone to unlock it and read one simple sentence. - meet me outside your house in 2 hours, dinner is on me, there is more to come!! xx - 

Unsure what this meant, Lea called Rick to let him know what was happening and he would have to fend for himself for the evening, there was no answer so a voicemail was left. After looking in the mirror she slowly sighed to herself, her mid length grey hair in a messy bun and baggy clothes on looking more like she had been up 5 minutes rather than 5 hours, she ran upstairs to get ready knowing that she always had to look her best before leaving her house, all the time wondering, what could this news be??


	2. Did that just happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you're not so paranoid

It wasn't long till I heard a knock at the door. knowing it was my best friend she I down the hall excitedly and answered the front door to see Dee stand there is what could only be described as a knowing look on her face.

"Hey you" she exclaimed, basically bouncing off the walls grabbing my hand and leading me to the car, "your chariot awaits"

I got in the car and as soon as it was reversing off of the drive, cheesy boy and songs came blaring from the radio.

L -"So what is tonight about then"

D - "I just thought you wanted to go celebrate me being amazing and getting us both tickets for your knights in shining armour?!" She chuckled to herself.   
"We are 5 rows from the front I'm sorry I couldn't get closer but I really did try" 

L - "I am happy we got any at all to be honest, this close to the date, it's under 2 weeks away, I don't know how you managed it and not sure if I want to know!" 

We then reached our favourite little Mexican restaurant, parked up and walked inside. They knew us so well in there by now we didn't even need to order drinks and just asked if we wanted to usual when ordering our food. The night continued and we laughed and chatted away in general. I asked about Dee's love life as usual, she was in a long term relationship and she had found someone so perfect for her, he could handle her being eccentric as she was with her bright pink hair and unique dress sense. She said they were looking for a flat and things were starting to look a bit more permanent than just long term.

I was so so happy for her, she deserved this, being someone else who suffered for anxiety, stability and reassurance is all we really asked for!

"Soooooo??" I asked not being able to keep subtle about the fact I wanted to know the other secret. 

She just smiled and told me to remain calm, "Sian at works husband works security at the O2, I pretty much begged asking for meet and greet tickets but he shot me down" putting her hand to her forehead in a dramatic pose. 

"Ok well that's cool you got tickets and that's enough for me" I replied completely confused by why she would of bought it up but knowing at the same time we tell each other everything.

We carried on chatting for the next couple of hours and talked about work, clothes and our other halves some more. Then it occurred to me, I hadn't heard from Rick since his snarky comment earlier, so I sent him a quick text saying I hope he was having a nice night, knowing he would probably be crashed on the sofa on his xbox. 

A couple of minutes later my phone beeped, it was a message from him 

R - "I'm having a great time, stay out and enjoy yourself" 

I smiled and put my phone back on the table, Dee looking at me and smiling. "You have a good one there" she said "the only thing he wants is for you to be happy" 

We asked for the bill and exited the restaurant, I had not stopped thanking her and all the way home we couldn't have been more like the standard girly cliche singing along to the radio dancing all the way.

About 20 minutes later Dee went to pull her car on the driveway and we noticed a car already in there, me and Dee looked at each other and parked behind blocking it in. She must of noticed the worry in my face and smiled at me before saying it is probably a friend from the office keeping him company. That did make sense so we wandered into the house to have a couple of drinks before calling it a night. 

"Hey we're back" I called as I walked through the door, kicking off my shoes. There was no reply and looking at the clock it was gone 11 so Rick and his mate were probably asleep considering it was a week night! We opened a bottle of vodka and I grabbed a couple of glasses, as I went to the freezer to get us some ice I noticed the bathroom light on through the window. I saw Rick walking out of the shower, smiling to himself, I stood and watched him wondering how I got so lucky, when all the sudden he walked back to the shower with a blonde woman with her legs wrapped around his waist. I couldn't help but just watch when he turned her around to get into the shower with her and that's when I saw her, Claire, mine and Dee's childhood friend, her naked body rubbing up against my boyfriends with no consideration that they my get caught. 

I walked back to the kitchen holding the ice, which was now dripping through my fingers, and Dee was just looking at me, I'm pretty sure she said something but all I could hear was her muffled voice. 

"Claire" was all I could manage to get out in a whisper, "what?" Dee asked and then she heard it a lengthy moan coming from upstairs, she knew it was like we were connected. I start to walk slowly up the stairs being careful not to make any noise, Dee not far behind, my world was spinning but I wasn't crying I was so confused right now I was just trying to stop my world from falling apart and the walls closing in. I opened our bedroom door carefully moving to the en suite. Dee whispered behind me " who forgets to shut a fucking blind I want to kill them"

I opened the door as gently as I could so I wouldn't be heard over the shower and that's when I saw it, Claire bent over with her hands on the shower wall and my "perfect" boyfriend, Rick, slamming into her from behind asking her to say his name, when she called out " I can't baby just fuck me" I saw my opportunity

"Rick, his name is Rick!!!" They both froze looking at me, neither made an attempt to move they just stared

"Sorry do I have something on my face?" I asked calmly "or is it you that has my friend on your dick, get out of my house now, both of you!"

They both scurried past me, Moving into the bedroom, frantically looking for their clothes. 

"Where are our clothes you psychotic bitch" screamed Rick in my face, there wasn't even the faintest scent of alcohol on his breath making me realise this wasn't a one time thing, this was planned. He needed no encouragement at all.

At this point Dee appeared from behind the curtains of the big bay window, "hi guys!" She said, being so upbeat. "You are both cheating scum that think it is acceptable to cheat on your girlfriend or do this behind your friends back so I took the liberty or moving your clothes out to the front garden, all of them by the way" she came moving over to me, Rick running to the window and looking down, he turned at me red in the face when he realised that all of his belonging were there too, and smashed nicely next to it, his prized 'baby', his Xbox. Grabbing Claire's hand he stormed out the room leading them to put on their shoes and trying to find 2 costs big enough to keep themselves modest. Whilst they were searching, I realise that we were half way through decorating our newly bought house, I nudged Dee and pointed to the 2 paint pots in the corner of the room, and before I said anything she ran over to them, standing at the open second floor window we prised open the cans to add the finishing touches to her earlier masterpiece. We managed to hit most of the clothes and his cd's, books and briefcase for work!! We sat quietly watching them pull it all into Claire's car, as hurriedly as they could whilst our neighbours curtains were twitching trying to find out what was going on. 

Dee went outside got in her car and moved it for them to leave, but not before asking Rick for his key which he threw at her, "I never loved her" he shouted as they pulled away "just felt I had to do my bit for charity, helping out the mental ones you know?!" 

I felt my chest tighten as I heard these words, all the sudden realising we just made it very public and being the centre of attention is not something I deal with well, starting to feel my breathing quicken I ran to the bathroom, and was instantly sick. Sitting back against the cool tiles I pulled myself up and, as if on auto pilot, stripped down the bed and started to clean up the mess left. Cleaning was my safe space even if I had to clean away the sheets that were used by my boyfriend and his lover. 

Dee entered the room and started helping not a word said, she looked at me confused so I kept her stare

"Why aren't you crying" she asked, i stood for a moment and answered " I feel relieved, not sad, just hurt" 

"Well it's his loss babe"

That was all that we spoke about that night, we cleaned into the early hours of the morning, Dee had called home explaining what was happening and that she would be spending the night with me. When I got back in to the room it was crisp and fresh, it don't even feel like Rick had been in here, pulling back the covers I curled into the bed. "Do you want to talk about it" Dee asked stroking my hair, I just shook my head saying I will just need to adapt to my new life. Then in the silence of my head it carried on....my new life, my lonely life, where no one will ever want damaged goods. 

The next couple of weeks carried on like this, I would get up, go to work, come home, eat then sleep. I hadn't heard from Rick or Claire, i had no ties as the house was in my name so I guess I wasn't worth a second thought.

My alarm went off waking me up, looking at my phone to see a message from Tom, Dee's boyfriend asking if I was awake, I could see it was sent 20 minutes ago, as I was about to text back there was a knock at the door. Dragging myself out of bed I shuffled myself down the stairs toward the door where I was greeted by Dee screaming "happy impractical jokers day" holding out 3 bacon rolls whilst Tom was behind her holding up a banner and smiling. 

I had completely forgotten about it, it just felt like one long day, I felt that same stupid grin spreading across my face, before looking at the clock and realising it was 11 in the morning.

"Dee you do realise it is 8 hours away don't you?", "yes" she chimed "but you can't be seen in public like this" she gestured to me looking me up and down, in an oversized t-shirt and shorts with some quite impressive bed hair!!

Tom smiled and gave us both a hug before planting a kiss on Dee's lips and turning to wave at me "you guys have some serious work to do today so I will leave you to it, try not to get arrested for kidnapping one of the guys. lea I'm looking at you, hands off Q ok?" grabbing his breakfast and making a run for it before we could hit him with a tea towel or any other kitchen appliance we could find! 

I can't believe today was the day, I made myself a promise at that moment that it would be a new day and new me!!! What tonight would bring no one knows!


	3. Shell shocked

The day continued on as I had a feeling it would. Getting my hair done, making sure our nails were perfect, whilst in the back of my mind I was thinking if I made more effort like this I may not be in my single situation now.

Dee noticed me looking in the mirror she knew exactly what I was thinking, as she always did.  
"It wasn't your fault, I know you don't believe me but honestly babe you're worth so much more"

I just shrugged and put on a pained smile, trying to keep myself positive whilst my head was pulling me in the opposite direction. 

It got to 6pm and Dee's phone went off, she quickly checked it and smiled. "Ready?" She said as we stood looking in the mirror, her hair loosely curled and wearing her signature leggings and geeky t-shirt. Whilst I stood next to her my hair straight going for a fitted skater dress with a collage of cats all over it and some worn out converse hi tops. 

We made our way downstairs I locked the door and turned around to see a limo outside my house, chauffeur waiting outside to open the door.

"A limo??" I asked, "only the best for the best" she smiled back at me. As we climbed in I noticed instead of a bottle of champagne she had arranged for there to be some chilled bottles of beer ready for us, proving again we aren't the typical girly girls! 

We arrived an hour later and by then we were a little tipsy, just enough of a buzz to take the edge off being in an arena full of people. "We only have half hour" Dee said looking a little down

"30 minutes is plenty of time" I said, it didn't start until half 7 so I wasn't sure why she seemed defeated. 

"This was meant to be your surprise" she nearly broke down, "I couldn't manage to get meet and greet tickets, but Sian's boyfriend could get us in to the VIP lounge beforehand and we may get a glimpse of the guys" 

"Well we have half hour so let's go" I giggled running towards the VIP lounge.

We had been in there 10 minutes and although there weren't many people about, they all seemed to be something to do with the production so felt a bit out of place and the guys were nowhere to be seen. We had a couple of drinks and then an announcement was made to make our way to our seats. 

"Sorry" Dee said "I thought this might of been our chance" 

"It's fine honestly, we will be close enough soon!" I said starting to get very excited. "I'm going to run to the bathroom and then we can get moving" 

Asking the bartender where the ladies was, he said it would be easier to use the staff ones and pointed me down a dark corridor. I went in and made sure I looked presentable and making sure I felt OK in myself as i could feel the anxiety in my stomach building. 

10 MINUTES TILL THE START OF THE SHOW, an announcement came over the speakers. I picked up my bag and ran out of the ladies to meet Dee so we weren't late checking my phone was on silent, in the darkness I didn't realise someone running towards me and before I knew it I smacked into someone, knocking me down but grabbing me by the waist before I could hit the ground. 

"I'm so sorry, are you ok?" I heard in a deep voice above me, as I looked up I came eye to eye with Brian Quinn. I literally felt my face burning the second I saw him. "I'm fine thanks, it was my fault I wasn't looking where I was going, I think you need to get going don't you?" I rambled on, talking a million words a minute not taking a breath, as he noticed a small group of staff where calling out to him behind us.

"Sorry again" I said before making my way to Dee not being able to contain my excitement when I saw her. 

"where have you been we need to get to our seats" she said putting her arm around me

"Sorry, I just bumped into someone, a Q shaped someone" I giggled 

"Great hallucinations, no more beer for you" she rolled her eyes at me

Making our way towards the arena we heard footsteps behind us

"Hey wait up!" Dee's face dropped as she saw Q running over to us "you dropped this" he said holding my bag in his hand he looked down at it "love the batman logo" I smiled and looked down at the slate grey batman badge on the front of it running my fingers over it, as Dee said thanks on my behalf before turning us towards the entrance to the arena.

"Cute dress by the way, loving the cats" he called back to us running towards the back of the stage.

Dee just looked at me and screamed in my face "that was crazy and you didn't even speak to him" 

"Obviously just leaves me speechless" I said smiling to myself and winking at her as we went in and took our seats. 

As soon as we sat down the music started and they were running into the stage, the next 90 minutes were a blur all I knew was there was a smile on my face that wouldn't shift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys, getting a bit more into the story after this chapter, please leave comments if you want to see anything particular happening xx


	4. Mystery caller

The next morning I was rudely awoken by my phone ringing on my bedside table, it was just gone 8am. I sat up in bed, my head fuzzy from the night before, no food and a lot of alcohol was not a good mix. I fell down on my bed and covered my head with a pillow not wanting to face the world just yet. 

What seemed like minutes later my phone rang again, this time I reached across and looked at the screen. It wasn't a number I recognised and I really wasn't ready for any shit calls from Rick or Claire, I had deleted both numbers so I was unsure if it was them but it just wasn't something I could deal with. I looked at the clock on my phone it was half 11, how did I sleep till half 11!!! 

Figuring I should do something with my day I slowly sat up trying not to irritate my hangover too much and moved to the shower. Standing there under the hot water my phone continued to ring again, I laughed at myself figuring at this point they just needed to get over themselves.

I got dressed in an oversized t shirt and some leggings and shoved my hair on top of my head. Looking at myself whilst passing the mirror laughing at what a state I had got myself into. I curled up on a dining room chair waiting for the kettle to boil so I could have some much deserved caffeine and dialled Dee's number.

"What do you want" she answered sternly, I started to panic trying to remember what i had done

"Well I called to blame you for the state I am in?!" I questioned, she started to chuckle back. "Please" she said "this was all your doing, when you realised you lost your purse and I was buying you couldn't stop ordering the drinks in"

It was slowly coming back to me now, the show finished, I went to get my phone out of my bag but my purse was gone, we searched everywhere, seating area, vip lounge eventually we gave up and decided to drink instead. 

"Oh shit!!" I exclaimed "I am so so sorry I will pay you back now"

"Don't be so silly, but do call to cancel your cards" she said back

"I will once I call the arena once more to see if it has been handed in. Oh by the way I think Rick or Claire are trying to get hold of my my phone hasn't stopped ringing" 

"Unknown number?" Dee asked, and with that the phone went off in my ear letting me know I had a text. 

"Yeah unknown number" I confirmed "hold up I just got a text babe let me read it" Dee sat on the other end of the line serenading me whilst she knew I was trying to concentrate. 

"Fuck, it says just to let you know I am popping round as you aren't answering the phone!" I started to feel that swell in my stomach again feeling so sick, "they can't just come round can they not whilst I am alone?" 

Dee spent the best part of half an hour trying to calm me down, I cried, laughed and screamed in this time. She insisted on coming round so I sat waiting for her to come to my door. She turned up within ten minutes (joy of your best friend living so close) we both sat in the kitchen, coffee in hand feeling like we drank enough alcohol to empty the bar.

"I'm nervous" I said to her a single tear rolling down my cheek

"Don't be" she said watching the door "that is what I am here for, they wouldn't dare show up together let alone say anything" 

Just then my door knocked, I jumped so hard I slid off my chair onto the floor "good start" I grunted to myself. Dee laughed at me and smiled, squeezing my arm as I walked past.

I could see the silhouette the other side of the glass, tall enough not to be Claire (thank god) but meant it must of been Rick.

"What could you possibly want you selfish prick, another one of my friends to fuck?" I shouted whilst opening the door letting all the anger out

"Sorry doll, didn't realise I had slept with any of your friends" an American accent let out, at that point I wanted the ground to swallow me whole, all the sudden Q came into focus and he was holding my purse. "I would of left it somewhere for you but you weren't answering your phone, got your address off the drivers license hope you don't mind" he said giving a little half smile

"Oh my god I am so sorry, and thank you so much I thought I had lost this! It must of fallen out of my bag when we ran into each other" I smiled, he smiled softly back. "Coffee!!" I exclaimed nearly shouting in his face "I mean did you want, would you like, can you have .... Coffee?!" Stumbling over my words.

"Would love one" he said, me motioning him to follow me through to the kitchen, on our way through I noticed a not so subtle Dee peaking round the corner. "Hey again" she said with raised eyebrows. 

"Q here, Brian, coffee. Brian is staying for a coffee" I managed to stutter out, Q smiling at me and Dee crying with silent laughter and making all kind of gesture behind his back. 

"Milk? Sugar?" I asked over my shoulder, "milk please" he replied, and that's when it happened I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the steel door of the fridge, I looked an actual state, I needed to do something about it now. 

"Can you guys excuse me for 1 minute?!" I asked, glaring at Dee as I hurried past, she knew exactly what I was doing.

I got to my room and pulled my hair down, it had half dried making it wavy, "that will do" I whispered to myself, lightly putting on some mascara and trying to find a different top to put on. All the sudden I was interrupted by a cough at the door, I turned around realising I was half naked to see Q standing there. I was about to direct him to the bathroom as that must be the only reason he was up here when he came striding towards me, pushing me back and up against the wall. Putting his lips to mine and pushing his tongue to take control of the situation. His hand slid under the lace of my bra and he squeezed at my breast making me moan softly, I could feel him stiffening against my hip. He stopped all the sudden walking away and flushing the toilet of the ensuite on the way out. I just stood there shocked, grabbing the same t-shirt and making my way downstairs. As I reached the kitchen Dee and Q were chatting to each other like old friends, Q pulled a cap out of his pocket pulling it down over his face. "I need to be off, thanks for the coffee and it was nice to see you again" he said to Dee smiling.

I walked him to the door "thank you for bringing my purse back I do appreciate it" 

"I needed to see you again, ever wonder why you got the bag back but the purse was missing?!" He asked winking 

"You took it?" I asked confused

"Just needed to see you alone, you are so beautiful" he said running back up the few steps leading to my porch. He ran his finger down from my throat to the top of my leggings, his finger then circling my hip where he was pressed up against me a minute ago. "You have my number" he said "balls in your court" before turning around and jumping in a red jeep. 

I was so confused, what even just happened. There was nothing about me I am 30, clumsy, irrational and hard work. And I knew this.

I walked back into the house, Dee smiled and we chatted for an hour, not quite believing what happened, she soon left as was spending the day with her man packing for their holiday. 

"Love you" she stated before hugging me "don't be too lonely without me" chuckling at her own joke as she climbed into her car. "Stay safe" and with that she drove away. 

I picked up my phone and got ready for a night on the sofa, curling up in a ball under a blanket I thought back to what happened, did it just happen? How? Why? I couldn't remember the last time I felt like this it was like I was a teenager again. I thought to myself there is no harm in saving his number, and when I did I must have pressed dial by accident, within 30 seconds I heard someone shouting my name, looking down I realised I had pressed dial and he had answered, what was I going to do. "Hey" I said "sorry dialled by accident" 

"So you aren't calling to invite me over" he said sounding like he was sulking 

"Well i am pretty sure you have dinner plans, but if not feel free to come over, and bring dinner" I laughed joking about. 

"Be there about 7" he answered "I gotta go but see you soon" 

I had no time to say I was joking, however I really don't think I was and now I had a few hours to sort myself out to at least have the house and myself presentable before he turned up. Was this really happening?


	5. Date Night?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's confession time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoy please comment

The rest of the day went quite quickly, I spent most of it cleaning and then getting ready. I couldn't figure out what to wear and was standing in front of my wardrobe, do I go comfy or do I make more of an effort, if I made more of an effort would I look like I was trying too hard? I stepped back and leant against the wall the chill of it putting a smile on my face as I remember what happened about 6 hours ago up against it, just then making me realise exactly what I wanted to wear. 

I moved the dress over my body, my wardrobe was full of clothes with various patterns of pop culture all over them and tonight I settled with a black dress with crossed lightsabers and the Star Wars logo printed over it. Giving myself a final look in the mirror I was there dressed, natural make up and my hair naturally flowing down over my shoulders. 

I was sitting on the sofa, trying to resist looking at my phone but couldn't help myself. It was 7:30 and no sign of Q, feeling myself start to slump I felt my head laughing at me at the thought I even considered tonight would happen. 

I went to the kitchen and pulled out a beer, taking a long drink of it, nearly half the bottle was gone at one go. Just then there was a knock at the door, making me jump and spilling some of the contents of the bottle down my front. I walked casually down the hallway and answered the door. When I answered I was greeting by a stack of blurays, a pizza box and a bunch of lillies.

"I am so sorry I'm late" a voice said from behind the stack of items, a recognisable voice in the low toned drawl and New York accent, sending shivers down my spine the second I heard it. "It's alright" I said partially lying, I hate people being late my ocd doesn't know how to handle it. Taking the pile of films from him he followed me into the house and through to the kitchen. 

"How long are you staying for" I joked noticing just how many films were there, I didn't get a response so I turned around to see him looking at me smiling "what?" I asked 

"Once again loving your dress sense, great minds and all that" he said pulling off his jacket and revealing a Star Wars t shirt, we both started laughing.

"These are for you, obviously!" Passing the flowers over to me. "Thanks, you really didn't have to" I took them from him at that point realising that Rick had never bought me flowers in our 12 year relationship. "But lillies? How did you know they were my favourite flower, lucky guess?"

"good" he answered to a question he must of asked himself he must of realised he said it out loud "it was a bit of a guess but I saw the tattoo on your back and figured that was the case?!" 

All the sudden this morning came rushing back to me and I wanted to have him right here and now, but I controlled myself and agreed with him on the fact they are my favourite flower and thanked him again. "Beer?" I asked, "would love one" he answered, we took the drinks, pizza and the films into the other room, I sat on the sofa and he sat the opposite end "so I got some films together, figured we could watch one of two?" I nodded in agreement. He turned to pick them up and realised on the wall I had a couple of cabinets each holding at least 150 blurays each. He turned and looked at me with his eyebrows raised, "there is so much you don't know about me" I smiled at him and winked. " I can't wait to find out!" He said. After choosing a film we decided on the Exorcist, he seemed surprised I was into horror films, he insisted on getting up to put the film on and that is when he saw it, proof that I literally was one of the geekiest people on the planet. He opened the TV cabinet to be faced with an array of games console, everything from a sea mega drive to a PS4, 7 in total. "Can I stay here forever" he said smiling over his should, all the time my head screaming yes! I took a minute to calm myself down, I can't let myself get attached I mean look who it is, it's not like he lives round the corner and he is famous, also, he probably does this all the time.

We watched the film, ate and drank. By the time the film had finished we had shuffled our way towards each other. "Another film?" He asked looking at me to see my eyes closing, lack of sleep catching up on me. "Can do" I answered, "we could just sit and talk get to know each other?!" He replied "would like to know more about you"

"It's a long story" I started "I would feel better if we spoke about you first" he nodded and we curled up, me listening intently whilst he spoke about being a fireman, his failed engagement, his inability to trust and then he said something I never expected "there is a part of my life I am not proud of, and please don't tell anyone only my closest friends know (friends great, I thought) but I got to a point where I was so low I contemplated ending it all, I feel like I have wasted my life, I enjoy what I am doing now but depression is something that never goes away it just sits silent waiting to flare up again. Anyway on a happier not I am now travelling with the guys which is great and I get to meet people like you!"

"People like me, so different girls in every city for you then!" I answered sounding more offish than I wanted to. Q looked taken aback by how stern I was, replying as if to defend himself "I talk a big game, but to be honest we rarely have times for new relationships our schedule is so hectic, that's why Joey was lucky he had Bessy from the beginning!"

"So just the one night stands" I basically shouted at him, not knowing where all of this was coming from, I stormed out the room through the kitchen to the back garden. What the hell was I doing where did it come from and why was I ruining tonight? 

A couple of minutes later I heard the door open behind me, expecting him to be leaving instead I felt a blanket being put round my shoulders. "Can I sit?" He asked, I nodded feeling ashamed of myself "you ok?" He asked with an eyebrow raised keeping his distance, with that I just burst into tears, no reason as to why I just couldn't deal with it. This is when I literally just didn't take a breath and told him everything.

"I used to be normal, but now I am a state, I got attacked by an older man when I was 16 whilst walking home in the day time and it was downhill from there, I got depressed and self harmed, I wanted to disappear I didn't want to deal with life anymore, I got a job as an apprentice at a a PA office and I met Rick, I was 18 he was 20. We hit it off and he was my first boyfriend, we decided to move things on and tried to get a mortgage for this place but it only went through in my name, he said they must of messed up the application but when I called they said he went in with a letter signed from me requesting to be removed, I never did that and was too scared to ask him why! I used to get so drunk i messed up my insides and we couldn't have kids, I could never stay pregnant for some reason, then a couple of weeks ago I came home and found him with one of my oldest friends, sleeping together in my bed, my shower, in my fucking house! He always put me down, said he was doing his part for charity dealing with someone with such anxiety and 'mental' issues, I understand I am not a perfect person and nothing special to look at and I am just a useless 30 year old that no one would consider when there are younger and prettier girls around. I don't feel like this is really happening I am stupid for getting excited about this and I should just stop bothering you and go away" crying through my words and unable to catch my breath "you can leave the front door is unlocked" 

I looked up to see Q had scooted towards me "lea?" He said his eyes glazed over "he is a dick" pulling me in to hold me in an embrace so strong I thought he was going to break me in half, I sobbed onto him, 20 minutes must of passed and I started calming down. "Let's go inside" I said as I noticed him shivering, when I went to get up I just had no energy left and my legs wouldn't support me, "I think you need to sleep" he looked down at me looking visibly drained, I couldn't of hide my look of disappointment very well when he cupped my face in his hand. "Sal dropped me off tonight, they will only pay for 2 hire cars for us whilst away, I just need to call him, OK?" 

"Stay the night.........please? I don't want to be alone tonight". With that he walked over to the door I started to cringe at myself, but he turned the key in the lock walked back over to me and swept me into his arms carrying me upstairs. Placing me down on the bed, he knelt down in front of me "where is best for me to sleep? I noticed the spare room down the hall?" I shook my head at him and glanced back at the pillow on my bed gesturing for him to stay with me hoping he would get the hint. "Only if you are sure, I will go and tidy a bit downstairs get us a drink and be up, give you time to get changed" he jumped to his feet and walked out the room. About half an hour later he came into the room with two glasses of water to find me staring into space not moving from the position he left me in. 

"We aren't that different from each other, you know?" He said I smiled weakly at him. He then reached over to me standing me up slipping off both of my shoes he then removed the blanket from me, he then looked at me with his hands holding the hem of my dress, I nodded at him and he gently lifted it above my head leaving me standing there in a black and red lingerie set, I heard him exhale heavily, he turned me round and I heard him open a drawer, he undid my bra removing it but standing behind me, when I looked over my shoulder I could see him looking at the ceiling, it felt weird to me he wasn't taking advantage, he passed me the tshirt and I put it on, turning to face him once again and undoing the buttons on his jeans pulling them down and then pulling his tshirt over his head, making sure his clothes were neatly folded, it wasn't much but it felt so intimate not a word exchanged just looks and the sound of our breath getting heavier and faster. I pulled the duvet back and he climbed in, I slid in besides him, he looked me in the eye "I haven't slept with anyone for about 3 months and that was a girlfriend who I am no longer with please don't think that this is nothing to me"   
"I want to believe you I do, it's just hard" I replied back to him  
"Can I ask one thing?" He whispered to me, I felt very nervous at this point. "Is this a date night?" I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me, "you met me 24 hours ago, do you want that? You aren't in the UK much longer are you?" 

"We are here for the next week with only a couple of shoots to do, decided to make it a slight holiday. So can we call this a date?" He asked again starting to look as nervous as I felt 

"It's a date night" I smiled back at him, he leant forward and kissed my nose, "get some sleep then baby girl and we can talk in the morning" with that he put an arm around me and pulled me so my head was on his chest as I easily drifted to sleep all the time him stroking my hair.


	6. Early morning release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lea is in for a rude awakening, not that she minds!!

I slowly opened my eyes, my face aching and all the sudden it came flooding back to me, I had cried in front of him, embarrassing enough. I had told him my life story, even more embarrassment. He had asked if we could date? Did he ask that, was I making that up? I looked at my phone and saw it was 4:30. "No wonder it is still so dark" I say to myself, deciding to settle back down, I went to pull some more duvet over me and realise there was a weight on the other side. It wasn't a dream, I didn't make it up, Q was in my bed and laying they looking just looking perfect to me. His hair over his face making it move slightly with each breath and obviously tickling his nose as he would then twitch it.

I moved my hand over slightly pushed his hair back, smiling watching my hand run through his hair ever so slightly so I didn't disturb him. Just then his hand gripped my wrist, making me jump. I looked him in the eyes. "Hey you" I whispered quietly to him, "hey beautiful" he responded "what's the time?". "It's about half 4 go to sleep" I said snuggling back down into the bed. I stayed facing him and intertwined our bodies, it was like they were a perfect fit, as I closed my eyes I suddenly felt him pressing himself a little harder against me. "Wha..." I started to say, I was interrupted by him pressing a finger against my lips to silence me. He hitched my leg up over his waist and started to kiss my so hard that when he pulled away I thought my lips would bruise. "I only have 6 days left" he said looking me in the eyes "I want to make the most of them and see what happens". I smiled and slowly nodded biting my lip, I could see where this was going. With that he pulled my t shirt off in one movement and started to kiss down my collar bone and slowly traced over my nipples making them harder by the second. I could feel the heat start to collect between my legs all the sudden noticing his more than prominent erection against my leg through the thin material of his boxers. I started to moan quietly to start with but the more his hands started to explored my body the louder they got, he seemed to enjoy this letting small grunts out whilst he was tracing his tongue over the top half of my body. I can't remember the last time I was this excited by the possibility of sex, a wave of heat ran over me and I rolled over to straddle him, he was playing with my breasts and he looked hungry for some sort of release, I started to grind on him, from nowhere this low growl came from him as he pushed his fingers deep into my hips, it was a bit sore at first but then I started to like the sensation, another first for me. I jumped off of him after a couple of minutes and he seemed to recoil into himself bringing his legs up and trying to steady his breathing, I stood in front of him. "Sorry was that too fast?" He asked with a worried look, after my confession last night I think he was unsure of his limits. I just looked him in the eyes and slowly moved my hands over my body,stopping to play and squeeze my nipples whilst moving down and putting a hand between my legs in to my underwear whilst using the other one to pull the hair from my face so he was aware at how much I was enjoying myself. He moved himself to the side of the bed slowly standing making sure his eyes were on me the whole time. He just stood in front of me a look of surprise on his face, I moved my hands from myself and onto him, he tried to touch me "no! You don't get to touch me, not yet, you get to watch me enjoying myself and then you may get to have some fun", I had no idea where this was coming from, it's like part of me was just waking up after years of being suppressed. 

I pulled his boxers down, when I wrapped my hand around his length I was shocked with how hard, no solid, it was, and I know I only had one in comparison. But he was much larger than I was used to. I knelt down and pushed him back to sit on the edge of the bed I shuffled on my knees and slowly started to swirl my tongue over the tip of his hard cock, he let out a gasp almost instantly, his breathing getting heavier by the second. I started to move him in and out of my mouth slowly and every time he tried to push his hips to get deeper I would stop and go back to just teasing the tip, beginning the process all over again, he kept trying to hold my hair but I that wasn't what I wanted, I wanted control in this situation so I held his hands down on my bed and continued to lick and suck at him whilst his breath was becoming heavier "fuck, don't stop" he said. That was all I needed, " you telling me what to do was not part of the deal" I say smirking at him and now standing up. "Answer me what question" I said sternly "what do you want me to call you?". "Brian, please call me Brian if you want me for me and not the fame side of it, please call me Brian" he was almost pleading

"So Brian..... What do you want? Do you want me to be gentle to you or want me to fuck you as hard as I can??" He chuckled to himself a nervous laugh, " I just want you to ride me Lea please?" I started to climb onto him and suddenly he grabbed my hips and stopped me from moving my self onto his length like he had realised something all the sudden. " I didn't think this would happen I wasn't expecting it.... I don't have... I mean I didn't bring any... Do you have any?"

All the sudden I realised what he was saying, when I found Rick cheating I got myself checked I knew I was clean and there was a pretty close to zero percent chance of me getting pregnant so I never had the need for protection with the one boyfriend I had got 12 years. I explained this to Brian, it all the sudden taking a serious turn, although I was tracing my fingers over the inside of his thighs, over his cock and stroking his balls ever so slightly enjoying the way he was squirming underneath me. "I am always careful but it depends if you want to trust me I understand if you can't" he looked at me waiting for my answer, I got up off the side of the bed and walked over to my dressing table looking as if I was contemplating what to do, i slid my underwear down and I slowly bent down resting my elbows on the table, looking over my shoulder I caught him looking at my ass licking his lips slightly. "It's fine I must be able to get another test so I can show you that you won't catch anything from me, I get it that with my reputation and all, its ok" 

"Get over here now" I growled at him, I have never seen someone move so fast, hunger in his eyes, his erection still standing prominent. "Let's get you ready for this then" he whispered into my ear before nibbling my earlobe and moving his hand between my legs. "You are so wet for me baby, oh my god is it all for me?" He said I nodded smiling coyly at him. He moved his head down kissing down my spine, whilst slapping both of my ass cheeks separately and pushing his tongue deep inside me, he showed no signs of breaking me into it or slowing down. He licked and sucked, occasionally moving my hips to nibble at my clit. He carried this on for nearly 15 minutes, I felt myself start to buckle, pins and needles starting to take over my body "oh my god I am going to come" I stated, this is when he stopped. "Two can play that game" he smirked at me, "you were misbehaving before and naughty girls get fucked" spinning me round pushing the content of the table onto the floor he said me on the edge pulling my hips forward and rubbing the tip of his cock over my clit over and over again, he then slowly pushed into me "you are so tight, oh my god, this isn't going to last long" he said in an apologetic look looking angry at himself. "I just need you" I answered and with that he started to pound into me getting harder and faster each time. I was digging my nails into his back, and he was pushing his fingers into my hips keeping me still. He was biting at my neck and shoulder and I was doing the same back to him, he started to get sloppy and I realised he was close "I want you to come for me baby" he said looking into my eyes and he then moved and hand from my hip to in between my legs, rubbing me with the same strength and pace that he was pumping in and out of me. My legs started to shake I started to feel a wave of heat take over my body, I started to close my eyes not able to control my body, "look me in the eyes" he said to me pulling my hair back so my face was looking into his. "Oh my god Brian I'm going to come......." The last word prolonged as I felt myself fall apart around him clenching over his cock. That was all he apparently needed to unravel on top of me staring into my eyes, repeating my name over and over with a mix of curse words. He then picked me up and threw me on the bed and came to settle down next to me. "Well that's a good start to what this might become" he whispered in my ear stroking my hair out of my face. I smiled at him and we just laid there looking into each other's eyes, his slowly closed and I remember mine feeling heavy, I must of drifted of into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for reading, means a lot trying to get chapters out every other day. If you have any ideas you want to incorporate just leave a comment xx


	7. A shock introduction

I woke up and looked at my phone, 10am not too bad, I rolled over with a smile on my face to find my bed empty. "Brian?" I called out, no answer. Had he left after last night? he seemed to enjoy it, what was going on. I threw on some jogging bottoms and my tshirt and that's when I realised his clothes were gone. I picked up my phone and made my way downstairs, had I dreamt it all...definitely not by the bite marks and bruises that covered me. Half way down the stairs I heard it, he was in either the kitchen or front room, definitely the kitchen I could hear the kettle, he was singing away to himself. I sat on the stairs listening to him continuing to sing Elvis, smiling to myself when all the sudden he appeared at the bottom of the stairs with a tray in his hand with a mug of tea and some toast. 

"How long have you been sat there?" He asked, his cheeks reddening. 

"About half way through Suspicious Minds" I answered, smiling at him, I jumped up off the stairs and met him at the bottom, "is that for me? I have never had breakfast made for me before, unless you want to count Dee making it because I have begged her too!" 

"I felt like you deserved something to give you energy after the last 12 hours" he smiled sincerely then smirked, looking me up and down making it obvious he was thinking of earlier this morning. We walked into the kitchen and sat down at the dining table, "so what's the plan for today?" I ask. He looked down at himself "I definitely need to get back to the hotel and change but then I'm not sure what to do its up to you". Just then my phone started to dance across the table, picking it up I realised it was a FaceTime from Dee, I picked it up excusing myself and walked into the front room. 

"Hey Hun, how are you?" She pretty much screamed at me looking in the holiday mode already, they were at the airport and Tom was smiling in the background, waving.

"I'm good thanks, just a lazy evening not up to much today, a weekend without seeing you seems odd! You guys both ready for a lazy couple of weeks? Bring me back some sun!!!"

"Why don't we bring you back a Mexican waiter or something like that?" Tom chimed in from the background, Dee laughing away, all the sudden they both stopped, eyes wide.

"What's wrong guys, is everything ok?" I say panicking. 

"Quiet night you say?" Dee said with raised eyebrows, that's when I noticed another figure in my box in the corner, I turn around to see Q had stripped down and was posed just right in front of my lamp so that he was covered. They both started screaming at the screen, I hung my head and shook it trying not to laugh, when all the sudden he took a cushion from the sofa, placing it over himself and came to sat next to me. 

"What could I do Dee? You left her here without anyone to play with, so I decided if she wanted to she could play with me" he said smirking at himself 

"Which it looks like she did" Dee laughed back "who could blame her!" 

"Guys I am still here, I can hear everything you are saying" we continued our conversation filled with general chit chat when the tannoy stated their fight was ready to board. "Oh my god I love you two so much please be safe and let me know when you are there" they nodded knowing I would be uptight till I heard from them once landed.

"Bye guys, make sure you enjoy yourself, will you be there when we get back?" Dee directed at Brian. 

"Afraid not we only have 5 nights left" he responded, Dee noticing the look of disappointment in my face 

"Well enjoy the next 5 days, behave yourself Lea, do not stress out, go and have some fun. Love you!!!" They said before disconnecting

"She is right you know" Brian said turning to look at me, taking my hands in his "I know it's 5 days and that is scary and shit at the same time but we need to make the most of this time, it's early days you might be sick of me by tomorrow" he laughed loudly at his own comment. That's when I remembered he was naked, leaning over to kiss him biting his bottom lip and letting a groan escape from me whilst looking up giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

He smiled at me and pulled me onto his lap, "next 5 days are going to be a hell of a ride you know?!" He looked at me, pushing me onto my back on the sofa. I looked into his eyes and saw the corner of his eyes creasing up as a wide smile showed across his face "Lea, you are wearing to many clothes, let's get them off" pulling off my jogging bottoms, it was like he couldn't wait he automatically rubbed his already stiff head across my opening, making it slick with the glistening beads of precum, he was surprised to find me already wet for him, with minimal foreplay and just knowing he was naked got me turned on. He looked deep in my eyes and pushed slowly into me, I could feel him pushing deep, his length pushing up against my inside fitting him snugly. There was nothing hurried or hungry about this time he just continued to kiss me and placing a hand up my tshirt to play with my nipple, I couldn't believe how much I enjoyed this, sex was something I never really enjoyed, I guess it depends on the company you keep! He knelt up to watch himself move in and out of me his eyes looking intensely before moving his thumb to circle my clit. I was just helplessly laying there with my hands on his hips digging my nails in slightly. 

" you like that don't you baby girl, I can feel you getting warmer and wetter by the second, feel you clenching around my hard cock. Do you want to come" I nodded him not knowing what his words were doing to me, with that he shuffled down clamping his mouth around my slicked opening, his tongue lapping at my core, and every now and again swirl his tongue round my clit, he could feel me starting to shake and knew I was about tour ravel, with that he moved his fingertip my clit and pumped his tongue in and out of my opening, i screamed his name and held him where he was as he continued to lick the juices away " you are too fucking sweet to taste" he confessed licking his lips, I slid into the floor unsure if my legs were in working order and started pumping at his shaft, running my tongue over his balls and tasting myself on him. "I want to taste you" I said looking up at him before taking him into my mouth, reaching as far as I could before him hitting the back of my throat. I could feel him with his eyes on me. I took one of my hands and played with his balls whilst using my other one to play with my own breast squeezing and teasing my nipple, I started to hum to give him that extra sensation. About ten minutes late his hips started bucking towards me, I knew he was close. I continued to put him deep into my mouth one hand on his balls and the other pumping him. It wasn't long until he moaned my name, looking down at me as I partly opened my mouth, as his cock began to pulse and he could see himself coming into my mouth my tongue licking him clean. He pulled me up to be on him, kissing me hard. "That was too good, you don't ever need to ask to do that" he said looking me in the eyes, we stayed there for a few minutes before I suggested we get ready or we will spend the whole day indoors, he reluctantly followed me up the stairs. "Shower?" I asked, he shook his head and walked over to me, "bring your stuff and shower at the hotel, it's big enough for two and I will be ready to get my hands on you again by then" I smiled whilst rushing to pack a bag with some stuff for the day. Within ten minutes we were getting into my car and I was heading to the hotel, wondering all the time what today had in store. 

We got to the hotel and he pulled a cap out of his pocket, pulling it down over his face.   
"Did you want me to come in after you?" I asked as it was obvious he didn't want to be spotted.   
"No I want you to walk in with me, I just thought it's a bit more comfortable for you if we weren't spotted, I don't want you panicking it can get a bit frantic sometimes."  
With that he slung his arm around my shoulder and walked in, leading me directly to the lifts and pressing the button holding me close, face looking down all the time. We got to his hotel room, it was nothing too special, bigger than the normal room but it wasn't a penthouse suite, just sweet and humble, a bit like him I said to myself. 

I put my bag down over on the chair in the corner and perched on the edge playing about with my phone.   
"Hey you, you not coming for a shower?" He asked in a hushed tone.   
"I didn't want to intrude" I said back eyes not leaving the floor. He knelt down in front of me "anything I am doing is to make it a safer more enjoyable experience for you. We only have a few days and I really didn't think you would want to spend them with fans and cameras in your face" he cupped my face pulling me up to look him in the eyes. I think my eyes told him everything he needed to know I was hurt but understood at the same time, thinking I wasn't good enough to be seen with him, my head doing everything it can to push him away.  
He held his hand out and pulled me into the bathroom, kissing me gently and looking deep into my eyes he slowly removed my clothes before removing his own, making sure the shower was a decent temperature he pulled me under, the mixture of him tracing his fingers over my body and hot water coming down on me sending shivers through my body. It was obvious where this was leading but it was so different to the last times, he was soft and gentle, no words were spoken and he constantly looked into my eyes as if to make sure I was aware that it was me he wanted. Once we both unraveled under each other for the third time that day we got washed realising we must of been in there a while. He wrapped a towel around me kissing me on the nose and then covering himself we walked into the room. "I left my phone in there" I said turning back towards him still walking towards the bed, when I turned back round I saw 3 very shocked but familiar faces looking at me.  
It was one of those moments where I was shocked but also wanted the ground to swallow me whole again. Brian walked out behind me suddenly realising the 3 smiling faces in front of us. Murr sitting there was his mouth open in a state of shock, Joe sitting there with his eyebrows raised with a grin on his face and Sal sitting there with a smug look on his face as if he knew exactly what was happening, not that it would take a rocket scientist to work it out.   
"Guys what the fuck?!" Brian pretty much shouted at them before coming to stand in front of me trying to make me feel as comfortable as possible in the situation, he put a hand behind his back holding onto me tight. 

"What?! We can't be worried you disappear for an evening?" Joe said back sounding over dramatic and offended still grinning

"Sal dropped me off he knew I was seeing a friend" Brian answered 

"We thought you were lying or hallucinating" Sal said chuckling with the others, they all started chattering above each other in this time I was still stood there, Brian grabbed me a dressing gown and put it over me before smiling at me taking a deep breathe and holding my hand. 

"Guys just quieten down for a minute, if you all just listen then I will tell you what is going on" they all hushed immediately and I stood holding his hand. "Guys this is Lea, I knocked into her at the O2 the other day, I found her purse on the floor after and dropped it round to her the yesterday, we then had dinner last night and had a chat but I think she is amazing and I am happy so we are going to spend the next 5 days together and just see how it goes, and I swear to god if any of you mess this up for me I will kick your asses!! Just be happy I am happy,ok?!" 

"It's just out of character" Murr answered the other 2 looking like they were still processing the information. "You normally are a hermit despite what people think and it's not like you to put yourself out there like this" 

"Exactly that is why I'm asking you guys to respect this, it's new and a bit confusing on both parts but I don't want to think about going home just yet" he squeezed my hand

"Hi guys" I answered "I promise I don't normally do this, I really didn't want to ruin any plans, I am just in the same place as Brian is with this" 

With that they all jumped up in unison and came to hug us, introducing themselves as if I didn't know who they were already. "Anything that makes Brian happy makes us happy" Sal smiled throwing his arms around me

"How about dinner tonight, all get to know each other a bit better as I am assuming you are wanting to spend some time together?" Joe asked

"Come round to mine I will cook" I said smiling at them, they seemed to be excited about the idea of a home cooked meal, "about 8:00? Where you dropped Brian off yesterday?" I asked 

"Perfect we will see you there" they all answered whilst walking out the door. I turned and looked at Brian, he was just staring at me with a smile on his face. He walked over to me reconnecting our bodies. "Well that's introductions done on both sides, this is moving quick"   
"I know, it's s bit crazy. Did you want to slow it down?" I answered him as he did seem to be heading in that direction however he furrowed his brows at me and he tipped my chin up to face him and simply said "Not a chance, I'm just a bit thrown by how easy and comfortable that this seems. I feel like I have known you for so long, I don't want to scare you but I really feel like this could be something, I think I am falling for you" 

I had no words and in return just pushed my lips softly on to his, all the time asking myself if he really just said that.


	8. Presents and parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lea gets a surprise and then so does Q

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry it has been a while for an update will be getting one out every couple of days. Hope you enjoy

We sat in the room thinking about what we were going to do with our day, "it's quite late on in the day" Brian said looking out the window, "I don't really want to get surrounded by people", "isn't that going to happen everywhere we go?" I ask with a serious tone to my voice.

"Well I have an idea, in fact whilst you were getting ready I spoke to Dee and she thought it was a brilliant idea!" Looking proud of himself he gave me a wide smile.   
"What is it?" I was trying to think of all the things Dee would think are a good idea, "you don't get to know till we are there, come on let's go" putting his arm around my shoulder he pulled me out to the corridor, moving towards the lift. "How long do you think we have before having to make our way back to sort out dinner?"  
"Don't worry I will get us back in time for cooking dinner for the guys, right now we concentrate on us, I want to make you smile and give you a good day, something to remember" 

We jumped in a black cab and he walked round to the window whispering to the driver, he smiled into the rear view mirror at me then turned to Brian and nodded. We sat in the cab for about 30 minutes making our way slowly through the traffic, the driver pulled over, as I went to get out Brian placed his hand on my leg, "stay here for 5 minutes beautiful I will be right back" and with that he jumped out of the cab. I had no idea what was happening, the driver was making small talk and was sweet enough but I couldn't help but try to work out my surroundings, I had been to London enough to try and work it out. 

The cab journey continued another 20 minutes and we were still in London but I still couldn't work out what was going on. "I need you to close your eyes for me, trust me" Q said smiling at me, I closed my eyes and all the sudden felt butterflies in my stomach, not liking the unknown. I felt material over my face "oh my god are you kidnapping me?" I joked trying to keep my voice quiet unless the cab driver thought I was being serious. All the sudden the the cab stopped and the door opened. I felt someone reach for my hand, knowing it was too quick to be Q. A higher class British accent spoke out "Please miss don't be alarmed, I am just helping you out of the vehicle as the gentlemen pays", I make some sort of noise in agreement all the sudden being hit in the face by the cold weather, was walked gently a short distance and into a building where it was warm again. I stood still, still confused with what was happening, when I suddenly felt a pair of strong arms snake around my waist, turning me round I felt Q's breath on my face. "Now I am going to let you see where we are, do not freak out, do not scream and don't say a word. It's for me to talk to you and for the next hour you are not allowed to say no, do you understand?"   
"Am I part of your show this is mean if it is, it sounds scary" I say holding onto his coat my heart rate quickening. With that he pulled off the blindfold, and all I could see was his deep brown eyes looking into mine. We were in a room a bit like a foyer, it was small and there was a table in front of us with Starbucks and pastries on it. There were two men at the entrance in suits looking smart, I still couldn't work out what was going on. One of the men came over to us and took our coats whilst the other pulled my chair out whilst we sat down. We ate breakfast and I just kept looking at Q confused, I could tell in some way he was enjoying my confusion. When we finished he held my hands across the table "So.." He said to me "this is breakfast and a bit fancy, we are sitting here in a room with two men watching us, that was breakfast but it's now time for you to find out where we are. Like I mentioned before you can't say no and just had to listen to me." With that he stood up, moved across to me and pulled my chair out holding my hand as we moved towards the door, one of the men then opened it and I couldn't believe what I was faced with. Powder blue boxes and white ribbons were littered about and there were pristine display cases around the walls. "Tiffanys." I whispered to him whilst keeping my eyes fixated. "Yeah, Dee said it was your favourite film, so I figured we would get some breakfast and then we could have a look, there is no rush we have the place to ourselves for the next 40 minutes."

Deep down I couldn't help but feel that this must be making him feel uncomfortable, he never came across as the romantic type and knowing about his failed engagement jewellery is probably the last thing he wanted to be around, I looked at him, he could tell I was trying to work out why we were here. He moved behind me pushing us forward, "we are here for a fitting" he whispered into my ear sending shivers down my back. "We are just seeing how this goes and I know that but soon I have to leave and I need you to know that I will still be there with you, I'm not proposing to you so don't panic but I figure we get something we both like, one for me one for you. I had a look this morning online whilst you were sleeping and I think I did ok so shall we go have a look?" I nodded with tears filling my eyes, I wasn't used to having a kind gesture being made towards me, I was always the one giving them with no thanks given or appreciation. 

"Mr Quinn, thank you for your call this must be Lea, lovely to meet you" the slender, easily 6 foot tall woman shook our hands. "These are the ones you called about, I will leave you all be for a few minutes please just let me know if you need any help" and with that she made herself scarce. "So what do you think?" He said looking down, I followed his gaze and saw two bands, identical. They were both made up of five smaller bands giving them an unusual pattern, the only difference was on the smaller one the front was crossed with, what I could only assume, was two rows of diamonds crossing over each other. They we stunning, it was such a beautiful idea but all the sudden it was hitting me where we were and how much this would be costing, I felt anxious and had to start concentrating on my breathing. "Are you ok baby girl?" He said nudging my chin so I was looking at him. "This is too much you don't have to do this" in my flustering he had picked up my right hand and was placing the ring on my middle finger before putting the bigger ring on the same finger on his own hand. "I know my size so mine feels fine but how about yours?" He asked looking down at it. "It fits perfectly I won't need it resized at all, are you sure?"   
"I am certain" he said before kissing my lips gently and getting the attention of the sales woman. With that one of the security men came over and moved me away letting Q pay discretely. "A woman should never know how much a man spends on her" I giggled slightly "you can't put a price on love". "Oh no it's not like that, we are just seeing how it goes" I felt the needed to correct him whilst a grin began to creep on my face. I looked over to him and couldn't help but notice the register £9955, how does someone even have that money, that is nearly half a years wages for me. I knew I couldn't say anything he would have been so embarrassed. I watched as she wrapped them both in their perfect packaging moving back towards Q and letting him pull me close. "So back to yours to start cooking I guess?" He smiled kissing me again but this time a lot more passionately. We were interrupted by a slight cough of the woman behind the counter "thank you so much for shopping at Tiffanys, I hope you have a lovely day and enjoy your jewellery" I could see Q trying to stop himself laughing, we said goodbye and left the shop. "What's the best way back to yours?" He asked as we stepped outside, "the train then a taxi will be easiest and cheapest", "lead the way" he smiled and I took his hand leading him to the tube station. 

About an hour later we got back to my house, jumped in the car and went to buy some food. We chatted all the way and it felt so comfortable and like it was second nature to us. It was 6:30 by the time we got back, I pulled onto the drive way and collected the bags. Walking into the house I heard the tv, we hadn't left it on so I put the bags down signally to Q to stay where he was. As I walked round the corner I was confronted by my mum and dad. "Lea!! We thought you had dropped off the face of the earth, hoe are you and where is Rick?" My mum asked pulling me in for a massive hug, I smiled and then hugged my dad feeling tiny against his larger frame. "Mum, Dad. First of all I'm glad you made yourself comfortable. Second of all give me two minutes and I will be right back did you want a drink?"   
"We put a bottle of wine in your fridge earlier should be chilled" my mum answered smiling at me. "Be straight back" I said as they turned their attention back to the tv. I stood one side of the doorway signally for Q to run across whilst they were preoccupied. We got to the kitchen and in a hushed voice I moved myself close to him, "I am going to need to tell them what went on with Rick, I have kind of been MIA for the last 3 weeks. It won't be long and I will have time to prep dinner after before the guys get here. Just wait in here or upstairs wherever you feel most comfortable and I will come get you" I smiled pulling the wine and 2 beers out the fridge passing one to him. I picked up the bottles and glasses with a nervous look on my face headed towards the front room, before I had walked 3 steps Q had pulled my hips back, he slid his hands into my jeans with ease and started teasing me, I couldn't go anywhere and my hands were full. He kissed my neck whilst thrusting his fingers into me feeling how quickly I was getting wet he moved to my ear whispering into my ear all the things he wanted to do to me. I could feel myself starting to blush, "I am going to fuck you so bad later, I'm hard just thinking about it, I need that sweet pussy of yours, to taste it and push myself deep inside" he could feel me grinding against him moving his thumb to rub my clit as I broke down on him, my legs went weak and he instinctively put his hand to my mouth to stop any noise escaping as I bit down onto it and he growled buried into my neck. I started to walk back towards the front room, looking over my shoulder hoping for some encouragement and all I saw was him winking at me whilst licking his fingers. 

"Here you go guys, we need a chat and I have dinner plans, you are welcome to stay but there is a lot to catch you up on" I smiled nervously.   
"What's going on?" My mum asked looking concerned, I could already see the disappointment in her face. I told them everything, from Rick growing distant to me finding him cheating. The fact I was in a low place but got out of it and I didn't tell them as I didn't want them to worry, I knew they would of done if I had told them. They were annoyed but understood. Then I told them I had met someone, we were friends not together but him and some friends are going to be coming for dinner, this led to more questions about who he was and what were his intentions, it was then I took a deep breath. "You know that show Impractical Jokers?" I asked as my Dad smiled and nodded and my Mum looked at me confused. "Well when me and Dee went we ran into Q and I lost my purse, he returned it and we have been spending time together since, I know you don't like the idea of it and you are worried about me but please don't be I will be ok, I want to spend this time with him it's different and it's only 5 days, is that ok?"  
"But how do you know this won't all end up in tears Lea, you fall too hard and you must realise that other people aren't wired like that, they take time" my mum said looking genuinely worried about me.  
"I won't hurt her, I feel the same and only want to protect her, I promise my intentions are good and I enjoy Leas company. It's nice to meet you, my name is Brian". Oh my god I couldn't believe it he had been listening to all of the conversation and supported me when I needed it the most. After introductions were given I looked at the clock and it was nearing 7:30, Brian and my dad were chatting and watching a Bond film on the tv like they had known each other for years and mum followed me into the kitchen to help me with the dinner preparations. "He seems nice" she smiled at me "all I want is for you to be happy are you sure you are happy for us to stay for dinner?" She asked me "Of course I am it's only homemade pizza and chips nothing fancy!"  
We continued to place the pizza in the oven and with that the door knocked. Q shouted out he would get it and dad came to join me and mum in the kitchen.

"Hey bud!"  
"You even left the house today?"   
"Is Lea even joining us for dinner or have you worn each other out?"  
"Get in you guys and shut up!"

I wanted to curl into a ball they were so loud there was no chance my parents didn't hear. They came into the kitchen and realised there was company, "hi guys, these are my parents, they came round to surprise me and are staying for dinner, hope that's ok?" 

With that the guys introduced themselves, we ate and had a few drinks. There were up points and down points, we laughed and joked but then they were making jokes about mine and Q's situation saying we were being foolish and not being responsible. As the hours passed my parents called a cab to go home, saying goodbyes and one last reminder to me to be careful and call more often. The boys weren't that far behind all saying goodbye and giving us a few innuendos before leaving, they had a shoot in the morning so wanted to get away. Once they left the house fell silent   
"That was intense, I didn't realise they were going to be here I'm so sorry" I said to him  
"It's fine, I enjoyed it, they are all saying that stuff as they are worried about you and me but we will work this out" he kissed me and held my hand. "I am so so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open" I said through a yawn, "sleep time for you then beautiful get up those stairs". We crawled into bed, he curled up behind me and held my hand. " in all the craziness we forgot to do this" he mumbled behind me pulling my hand out in front of us "but before that when you were busy talking to security I added something" I moved to sit cross legged on the bed facing him. As he gave me the ring he angled it up slightly, all I could see was a B and an L engraved on the inside, he then showed me his with the same inscription. I put his ring onto his finger and smiled he did the same to me before kissing it. I put my hands on his chest looking at the ring then looking up to his eyes, I started to fall asleep. I heard him mumble something but I was nearly asleep. "You're amazing, I think I am falling for you" I said half asleep not realising what I was saying.   
He kissed my head "that's nice to hear, because I have fallen for you" nuzzling into my hair as we drifted off to sleep.


	9. You're mistaken

The alarm went off, it seemed to pierce my ears as I reached for it without opening my eyes. I didn't realise just how much alcohol we had consumed last night between the 7 of us. I looked over to see Q sleeping heavily next to me, there was no sign of him waking up with just the alarm. "It's time to wake up baby...you guys have that shoot today remember?" I was answered with a grunt and him swiftly moving the pillow over his head, I tugged away at it slightly moving it from his grasp. "Lea if you move this pillow from my head you will be punished, I'm not even joking!" His voice groggy and without a joking tone to it, was he really being serious?! I pulled it away and knelt on the bed next to him with only a t-shirt on, I smiled sweetly biting the tip of my tongue between my teeth. "Right that's it I warned you!" With that he jumped out of the bed, I screamed instantly and ran towards the door, feeling his fingers brush my arm as I ran out the door, too close. I ran towards the stairs trying not to let the laughing take over my body and to concentrate on running, I jumped down the stairs hitting the floor at the bottom my ankle gave way, I stumbled and with that felt Q grab hold of my wrists in one hand and my legs in the other, throwing my over his shoulder carrying me up the stairs tutting and shaking his head all the way. He put me on the bed and grabbed his belt off of the floor, tying it around my wrists and against the bed making sure I couldn't move anywhere. He then hovered above me "how dare you think it is ok to disobey me like that, that is not how you should behave". I pouted pushing my bottom lip out in my best I'm sorry please forgive me face. "It's not going to work pretty girl" I wriggled on the bed and with that he moved off the bed moving to my drawers pulling out 2 scarves. These should fix your fidgeting, now behave and take your punishment" 

His started kissing my neck, he then moved his way up to my lips, I couldn't help but bite his lip to start with he pulled back a bit surprised but then he bit back twice as hard, smiling when he heard my groan. He then kissed my forehead and worked his way over every inch of my body kissing, licking and biting his way down from head to feet. Stopping knelt down between my legs that he had tied upped spread apart, he looked up to my core licking his lips. We were then interrupted by a knock at the door, "who could that be?" I asked he just shrugged moving further up my body licking slowly from my ankles up the inside of my thigh, another knock "Q?? Q are you there? We are going to be late, come on bud!!" He jumped up to the window Joe waiting on my front garden "I will be right down" with that he left the room wrapping a towel around his waist. I was left laying on the bed, my body throbbing, I was trying to get some friction on the bed sheets needing some release, thinking he had left me as I was. About 5 minutes later he reappeared in the doorway, "where were we?" He grinned "I have left him downstairs, told him we would be 10 mins max and then we will be ready to go". "We don't have time for this Brian we need to get ready". " I guess you're right" he answered starting to untie me, I got off of the bed and with that he pushed me back down onto it "quickie it is then" he growled into my ear biting the lobe, pushing his already hard cock deep inside me with no warning. He picked me up with my legs around his waist and pushed me against the wall with such force the various bottles fell off of my dressing table. He was holding onto my hips with such force biting my neck as I threw my head back, "you are so tight around me, I never want to loose this feeling, you bad girl". "Then punish me like I deserve" I wink at him as he slides out of me and drops me to my feet, turning me round pushing me to the floor positioning me so that I was on all fours. Pushing himself into me from behind pulling me up so my back was again his chest allowing his hands to roam freely over my body. He pushed himself into me not slowing the pace, with his fingers finding their way in between my legs, rubbing my clit till I couldn't hold back anymore. The sensation of him biting my neck whilst moaning, pushing himself into me and teasing me was all too much and my body started to shatter onto him. He noticed I was on the edge and pulled out of me laying me onto my back and pushing himself back into me, he looked me deep in the eyes "cum for me baby, cum with me" nestling himself into my neck, teasing me once again with his fingers, he started a low growl deep in his throat and I knew he was close, that was all I needed before I started to clench around his hardness, loosing all control of my body whilst feeling him pulsate inside of me. We stayed sprawled out on the floor just looking at each other. "I guess we need to get ready?" Q said getting up shakily on his legs before extending his hand out to me. The next ten minutes were a blur of us getting showered, dressed and getting our stuff together whilst tripping over each other, giggling like a couple of teenagers. 

We went downstairs to see Joe sitting on the sofa engrossed by cartoons on the t.v. "Ready then?" Q asked, "took your time didn't you?" Joe responded turning his body around to look at us. "What can I say? It takes a while to look this good!!" Q stated, laughing to himself while placing his hat onto his head. We picked up the last of the bits we needed to take with us and headed out of the door. 

"So where are you guys heading today?" I asked as Joe started the car up. "We are shooting a challenge outside of the National History Museum, we have to try and convince people to come to our museum instead, which is a pen that is about 10 foot away from the museum entrance and is filled with plastic dinosaurs and stuffed animals!!" Joe said raising his eyebrows at me in the rear view mirror. 

We chatted all of the way there about hat challenges were their best and which were their worse, we finally parked up and Q jumped out of the car and moved to open the door for me. So far it didn't seem like they were being recognised. He held my hand tight and led me over to a couple of sheltered tents that had various equipment set up under it. The guys greeted me as Sal pulled me in for a hug, Murr kept back looking a bit worse for wear. "Thanks for the great night last night, it was great to meet your mum and dad.....boy do they know how to drink!" Murr whispered rubbing his head. I couldn't help but laugh to myself.

"Right are you boys ready, let's get you all sorted and start filming!" A woman shouted across in direction. They all started moving but Q held back, speaking to one of the girls standing by the equipment "Hey Kelly. This is Lea, Lea this is Kelly, she works as tech support. Ken, Lea is going to hang out with us today please make sure is is looked after and made to feel comfortable please?" He asked, she smiled and linked arms with me, "consider it done!" She responded. Q leant down to me and cupped my face with his hands, placing his lips gently onto mine pulling me in to a deep kiss not seeming to care who could see, he pulled away smiled at me and pulled his American flag scarf from his neck to place it round mine, before leaning to my ear and just whispering "to hid the bite marks", I felt myself blush as he headed towards the other guys. 

The next few hours were filled with laughing, cringes and numerous knock backs for all of the guys, "did anybody want a coffee?" I asked the crew and Joe, Sal and Q who were watching the screen intently whilst Murr was talking about his next fool proof plan. A couple of the crew just wanted coffee and Q asked for an iced coffee, I started to make my way over to Starbucks. Balancing the drinks on my way back I could see that they where starting to pack away, smiling to myself still trying to let it sink in what was happening someone bumped straight into me.

"Lea? Hey how have you been?" Rick was standing in front of me trying to hug me over the various cups I was holding, I didn't know what to do, why was he acting like nothing had happened. "Hey, I'm good, you?" I asked looking over his shoulder, where I could see Joe looking in my direction and chatting to Q, nodding over into my direction. All the sudden Rick came back into focus "We broke up Lea, I miss you, I made such a mistake, she had brainwashed me, please let me take you out for dinner and make it up to you, I know you miss me too". With that I looked him dead in the eyes "No, no I don't need you, you made my life better by walking out of it I'm not about to go backwards and invite scum like you into my life until the next time you get bored!" He just stood there staring at me before I know it he held onto my face moving close to my face that I could feel his breathe on my skin "you will come crawling back, you aren't anything special" he kissed my cheek and walked away, I felt sick and could feel tears stinging my eyes, I looked up to see Q walking towards me. "What the hell was that? I thought we were looking to see where this goes". "It's not what it looks like, that was my ex" I said as tears started to fall. "Oh I see, so you still have feelings for him and you are keeping him keen for when I am gone?" I couldn't believe he could think this about me, it was so far from the truth but he didn't seem to care. "I tell you what call me when you make your mind up, if you do, I'm not here to be played" he took the drinks off of me and snatched the scarf from around my neck whilst walking back towards the guys. I found a bench close by and sat down, I felt like my world was crumbling, what was happening. I moved my way to the train station realising that the guy were supposed to be dropping me home. A couple of hours later I was walking through my front door, I walked straight to the cupboard and took out a glass and a bottle of whisky, moving to the front room I picked up my phone and dialled Dee's number. After apologising for calling her I explained all of it, she spent time calming me down and then said I should get an early night and speak to Q in the morning. We continued to chat for another hour about her holiday and what they had been up to. I went to bed after nearly the whole bottle of whiskey, my head playing games with me I wondered what Q was doing, was he moving onto someone else, would I even here from him again. I found his t-shirt on my floor, moving to my bed I curled up, inhaling his scent off of the shirt and let the tears flow, looking at the ring on my finger. The last thing I remembered was my clock showing 3:30am and I had 3 hours before having to get up for work. I felt like my heart was breaking in two, did I love Q? What could happen next?


	10. Tears and rainy days

The next morning my alarm went off but it didn't wake me, I was laying on the bed staring at it. When it went off I leant over and turned it off moving slowly to the bathroom and looking at myself in the mirror, my eyes were red and puffy I looked drained. "What a fucking mess why do you screw everything up?" I screamed at the mirror, I stepped in the shower and started crying sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. After about ten minutes I pulled myself back up and quickly washed my hair. I didn't want to shower but I knew I had to, I didn't want to wash his scent off my skin. I walked into the bedroom and went straight to my bed picking up his t-shirt inhaling as deep as I could. how did this happen, we were happy and taking each day as it came, then within 3 minutes Rick had pulled it apart without even realising it. I picked my phone up looking at the screen, all the sudden my text tone went off making me jump. It was a message from Dee.

Dee - Have you looked on Instagram you need to see it, you need to fix it now! xx 

Me - What do you mean? I haven't done anything xx

With that 3 attachments got sent through, the first one was of the 3 boys in a bar, it was a simple photo of Sal, Joe and Murr all pulling stupid faces with a crowd of fans in the back. Looking down at the comments there was a lot of love for them but some others with people asking where Q was and why wasn't he with the others.   
The next was a photo the Rick had put on of me and him on holiday over 4 years ago, smiling at the camera as I was kissing his cheek, he captioned it Time is a Healer....Soon. What I saw next made me feel sick, he had tagged the guys in it, had he seen me with them? Had he seen me and Brian speak after? What did he think he was doing?  
The last photo was one to break my heart, it was Q, he had it a photo on of his hand holding an empty whiskey glass with our ring still on his finger, he captioned it What Happened? Am I That Easy To Walk Over? The comments underneath were mixed with women offering to cheer him up, people telling him to go get laid and others telling him to be a man or calling him attention seeking.   
My head was all over the place I didn't understand, he walked away from me, I wanted to explain what was going on but he wasn't willing to listen.

Me - I will think about this through the day, I don't understand what is going on, what could I possibly do? I don't want to speak to Brian first, he started this I'm not apologising xx

Dee - You are so stubborn sometimes, he is a good guy who was hurt, yes he overreacted but don't hurt yourself more over Rick that is what he wants xx 

I put my phone down and quickly got ready for work. I got in my car and drove the 30 minutes to the office. The day went by in a blur, I don't really think I did much apart from check my phone constantly and stare at my screen. People kept having to snap me out of my daydreams to answer the phone and any deliveries the office got i signed for and didn't engage in polite conversations with the delivery men. My breaks and lunch hour was sent with me looking at the photo Dee sent to me of Q holding the glass, looking at my own ring and taking it off to look at the inscription sobbing to myself. I got back to my desk and saw an email from my boss asking to see me in his office, without thinking I stood back up and walked through the office knocking on the door at the end. 

"Come in" a deep voice commanded, I stepped in, my boss, Adam, was looking at me gesturing to the seat on the other side of his desk. "what is happening with you today? You have been all over the place. I gave you the last 2 days as emergency holiday but now you have come back and you are in a state are you still having trouble at home?". I went to open my mouth to respond and just started sobbing "I am so sorry Sir, everything is just a bit of a mess and I thought I would be OK, I don't want to loose this job. I promise I will be ok give me another chance?" I started to hyperventilate.   
"Lea, take some deep breaths" Adam got up from his desk and pulled up a chair next to me "your job is safe, it is you I am worried about in the nicest possible way, with your health issues I don't want you to stress more at work, it is Wednesday I am giving you the rest of the day off and you are on paid leave until Monday afternoon, I want you to call me at 9 and we will assess the situation. The office knows what has happened Rick has been bragging about it to his old friends but we are on your side, he was an idiot and you need to start getting confident and happy with yourself, OK? Your job is safe we just need you back as you were". I couldn't help it I threw my arms around him. "Thank you so much Sir, I promise I will make this up to the company anyway I can". He smiled at me and I walked out of the room. Collecting my bag I got to the lift and called the only person I could think of calling. "Mum, I think I screwed up". I explained the situation, all my dad wanted to do was find Rick and hurt him for making his little girl cry, my mum however was the voice of reason. "You can't get your heart hurt over a 5 day fling, delete his number and take the time to think of yourself. I know it will be hard but if he is the same as you then you are just going to self district your .... Whatever it is, friendship? Relationship? Every time something like this happens. Concentrate on you and your job". I couldn't help it she was right, after telling them I loved them I hung up. 

On my way home I decided to see a film, thought it might help to keep myself busy, I decided on a horror and before the lights went down I deleted Brian's number from my phone. 2 hours later and the film had finished, I got back to my car and stopped to get myself some Chinese food as I didn't feel like cooking. I pulled onto my driveway to see someone slumped in the rain sitting on my steps. I got out the car and picked up my bag. "Can I help you?" I asked the dark figure hunched over, as I got closed I realised who it was and my heart started to beat so fast.

"Baby girl can we talk?" A croaky voice asked, as Brian looked up his eyes red and puffy, my mothers words going round in my head, I walked past him without saying a thing, unlocked my door, as I went to step in all I heard was "Lea, please, I messed up!" His voice broke at the end of his sentence, was he really crying? I looked around tears falling form my eyes I nodded gently, he walked towards me, slowly, as if he was scared to spook me. As soon as he got close enough he held my face and kissed me strong and passionately, he moved his hands from my face to my body holding me as close as he physically could. "I am such and idiot, I nearly lost you, I can't do that because I love you too much, I'm sorry if it's too forward but I really do believe I love you more than I have loved anyone" he said staring into my eyes, sneaking kisses in between his words. "I love you too, this is stupid, it's short term and we will get hurt but I love you so so much" I responded tears rolling down my face. We continued to kiss on my steps in the pouring rain. 

"Let's get inside, I think we have a bit to talk about and sort out?!" He asked questioning if it was the right thing to say. " i think your right" I answered before taking his hand and walking us both into the house.


	11. Confessions and 24 hours

After a hot shower and some dry clothes we were sat on the sofa facing each other. Brian had his knees pulled up and I was crossed legged, we were just looking at each other, a smile creeped onto my face. "I love you......and you love me?! Where do we go from here" Q asked looking at me. He held his hand out to hold onto mine, "I don't know, I think we need to talk about what we do, we only have one whole day left together and I don't want us to waste anymore time." I answered looking at his fingers running over the cool metal of the ring he had given me to show he cares.  
"Your right we have tonight and tomorrow then we leave late morning the day after. I just need to get something off my chest, if I speak to you will you promise not to interrupt me and not freak out?" He asked looking down, I nodded to him remembering that I had been told he isn't normally like this so understood this couldn't be easy for him.

"Lea, when we met it was an accident, it could of happened to anyone. Then I saw your bag and ran to give it back, I stood back and watched you, there was something about you, you acted happy with Dee but your eyes said something different. I knew the look because I have seen it in the mirror many times after Mallory left me, you were hating yourself and I couldn't understand why, so I slipped your purse into my back pocket and gave your bag back." I was listening intently, he was opening up to me and I wanted to hear more. "Throughout the show I kept looking at you in indirect ways, you were amazing you were laughing so much and I couldn't help but smile seeing it. After the show me and Sal went to the bar to give you your purse back. I spoke to him about you and I knew it sounded crazy and he was taking the piss out of me but then he saw me watch you in the bar and came up with his own cunning plan. He took the purse from me and looked in it which I told him not to, he then said to me that there was your driving licence on there with your address. I wanted to come up to you but there were so many people in the bar I didn't want the humiliation. The next morning I tried to contact you and when I got to your door I stood outside for 15 minutes before knocking, when you were making my coffee I saw that look in your eyes again and I needed to let you know you were wanted. I asked Dee where the bathroom was and when I saw you in your room I couldnt help but let my instincts take over. It wasn't what I was expecting to do but I couldn't help it, the rest of the day I literally checked my phone and kept smiling to myself. When you called and invited me over I knew I had to take my chance, the rest just followed, when you broke down on that first night and told me what you are dealing with and how you have suffered I felt like we were both halves but together were a whole. You are basically the female version of me. When I held you that night I knew I loved you, it was insane and I kept telling myself it wasn't possible." I looked at him, his eyes filling up with tears, I squeezed onto his hands. "At the museum I was wrong, the guys were teasing about a guy trying to pick you up and when I saw him hold onto you and lean in I saw red, I felt like I had been kicked in the chest, when you told me it was Rick I was embarrassed and continued to push you away. The last day and a half has been horrific I have sat in my room and drank.....a lot. I need you in my life , you complete me and it may not work but it might so I don't want to ruin it." He looked up at me and I couldn't help but let tears fall down my face. "Please don't cry baby" 

"I'm sorry I don't mean to, I just never thought you would say that, this seems so bizarre I'm just a normal girl..." He interrupted me " I am just a normal guy and you seem to have seen through the fame" with that he lent into me and kissed me hard.   
His hands worked their way through my hair as he started to climb over me. I snaked my arms round his waist pulling him down on top of me, pulling at his t-shirt I pulled it over his head and continued to kiss him hard. He moved his hands to the waistband of my jogging bottoms pulling them down whilst I fumbled to get his jeans off of him, I could feel him pressing against my thigh as he was starting to trail his tongue down my neck and along my collarbone. I pushed my hips up to him, he seemed to know exactly what I wanted wasting no time he pushed himself into me, with no warning he pushed into me, looking into my eyes and moaning as he continued at a torturous pace. I kissed him starting to bite at his lip my hands scratching down his back till I reached his hips and pushed at them trying to make him quicken his movements. He sped up whilst moving a hand up my top to play with one of my nipples and using the other one to keep his balance. I could feel my heart beating, with no words being exchanged it felt more intimate than before and it turned me on. He didn't take his eyes off of me and I could feel myself getting close, looking at me it was like he knew, he furrowed his eyebrows and pushed harder, speeding up and rolling his hips to make sure he could get as deep as he could, a deep growl coming from his throat he started to get sloppy, his hair falling from behind his ears he continued to look at me until he had no choice but to close his eyes and let his orgasm take over him, feeling him pulsate inside me I crumbled underneath him holding onto his back my nails digging in. After a couple of minutes of silence he moved away from me and rolled off so he was laying behind me, he pulled the blanket off of the back of the sofa and pulled it over us. We both laid there looking at each other, it just felt like this is how it should have been all of the time and everything leading up to this point was pointless. 

The next morning I woke up aching, we must of fallen asleep on the sofa and I knew I would be paying for it for the rest of the day. I moved off of the sofa whilst Brian stayed there breathing heavily whilst in a deep sleep, I moved to the kitchen, put the kettle on and started to cook some bacon. About ten minutes later I heard movement from the front room it wasn't long before I heard footsteps behind me and felt his eyes on me. "Take a seat breakfast will be 2 minutes" I said over my shoulder, I heard a chair move and when I turned around he was sitting at the table, hair a mess still looking half asleep, "bacon sandwich and coffee??" I asked putting them down in front of him. "Thank you baby" he answered pulling me onto his lap. We sat there quite content eating our breakfast, as we were finishing my phone started to vibrate along the table. "Oh it's Dee, due our catch up, go get showered and I won't be long." He moved to go upstairs. 

"Hey Dee, how's it going?"   
"It's going so well, it's so sunny!! How are you doing today Hun, any news?"   
"He told me he loved me, he told me how he got to where he is now and that he made sure he saw me again. He apologised with how he acted the other day and we are back to how we were!"   
"That's good Hun but what happens if he does it again. Doesn't he go home soon?"   
"He goes home tomorrow Dee, please just be happy I am happy, I already feel everyone else is against me! Please?"   
"I am happy for you I just worry, I'm allowed too"   
"I know you are. What are you guys up to today? He proposed to you yet?!"  
"No not yet, behave yourself. We are probably going to go to the beach and go jet skiing today! I should let you get ready but I will check in tomorrow once he is gone ok? Love you"   
"Speak to you later, Love you too!!" 

I made my way upstairs, I opened the bathroom door, Brain was standing over the sink brushing his hair. I moved passed him and jumped in the shower, he just looked at my reflection in the mirror and smiled at me. "Go and get dressed!! We have to leave soon surely?" "Yeah in about half hour, don't be too long." He gave me a sarcastic look before leaving the room. I finished getting myself ready and moved into the bedroom, Brian was ready and sitting on the bed. "I hate that we leave tomorrow, what are you going to do once I leave? I worry about you"   
"I will be fine" I said pulling on some jeans and an oversized t-shirt. "I was used to the quiet before you so I am sure I can get used to it again" I smiled at him, really all I wanted to do was to hold onto him and not let go. I didn't want it to ruin our last full day together so I made my way over to the door and told him we need to be going. We jumped on the train and made our way to a small studio, the last thing they had to do before going back was a photo shoot for some merchandise they were going to release after their time in the UK.

I sat back watching them joke around, they had such a great chemistry they really were best friends. They were no different to how you see them on tv, still picking on Murr. It was time for their individual shots, Murr, Sal and Q came to sat with me, Q pulled me out of my seat throwing his arms around me and kissing me deeply, before taking my seat and pulling me into his lap. "What are your plans for the day?" Sal asked looking at us. "I'm not too sure, it's your last night do you not have any plans? I asked looking at them. "We were just going to have a meal at the hotel then get an early night. Nothing exciting!" Sal responded with a pout on his face. "Well it's a nice day why don't you guys come round later, we could have a BBQ or something, I have a spare room and a sofa you guys could stay round the night and then just leave all together tomorrow?" I asked. "Sounds perfect" Joe said walking up to the group "Ferret you're up!" He smacked Murr round the back of the head before swapping seats. We continued to make plans for tonight, the guys would pick up some drinks before making their way over and me and Brian would go and get some food. Brian was next up for the shoot, Joe and Murr left to head back to the hotel and start packing their stuff which left me and Sal sitting there. "There is hardly anyone left here" I said to him trying to make conversation. "Yeah a lot of them headed home after filming, we only needed our tour manager and he goes back tonight" he answered passing me a bottle of water, I sat looking at Brian it was the first time I had seen him really uncomfortable, it's like he wasn't sure how to act if he had no one around him to bounce off of. "He thinks the world of you, you know?! We haven't seen him this way in years, I am dreading us going back tomorrow" Sals voice said quietly "I don't know how he is going to handle it, the only other time he has moved this fast or seemed so into someone was with Mallory, I don't want him to get his heart broken again." He seemed stern, I knew he was only looking out for his friend but I couldn't help what happened next. I just started to cry "I wouldn't ever hurt him, he is everything to me and I know that it will die down once he goes home but I can't think about that now." "Shit, please don't cry, I didn't want that to come out bad and upset you I am just worried about him and now I am worried about you, you are so much alike Lea, I can see why he thinks so much of you, now stop crying I don't want to explain to him how I put my foot in my mouth." He pulled me in for a hug. "Is it my turn now?" Sal asked Q when he was approaching us. "Not quite yet buddy, I need to steal this one for a second" he threw me over his shoulder, "What are you doing?" I giggled as he ran back to the camera bouncing me about. "I just asked these guys to take a photo of us so we both have another something to hold onto" he smiled blushing slightly. The next 5 minutes were filled with awkward poses. "This isn't working" I smiled at him "sorry it just feels so staged I hate having my photo taken." I looked into his eyes, "it's ok baby it was only an idea" he replied holding my hip with one hand and the back of head with the other looking deeply at me, he put his forehead to mine "I love you Lea", "I love you too" I replied kissing him softly.   
"Come on lovebirds it's my turn" Sal said pushing us to the side acting sassy towards the camera. "Baby I have to go back to the hotel and pack" he said to me " I know Sal offered but I can't trust him to pack all my stuff, I have comics there and everything!" he said laughing whilst moving in to kiss me again. "OK then I will go home and do some shopping for the BBQ, see you soon though?" I asked squeezing his hands. "I won't waste a second" he answered. I waved at Sal on my way out and headed towards the station. 

The supermarket was awful, I couldn't deal with it, I moved my way around it so much just picking up as much meat as I could find and some charcoal. Loading it into my car I drove back towards my house, placing the last of the food in the fridge. I changed into some denim shorts and vest I made my way back downstairs, it was so hot I opened the back door and sat on the decking. About an hour and a half later I started to panic, looking at my phone, I thought at least Q would be here by now. With that I heard a faint knock at the door, I got up and ran to open it, "hey baby girl can you just move this box into your front room? I need to get something from the car" Q asked, he was alone and all he had was a box. I moved it into the front room, as I was carrying it through the hallway I heard him shout not to look inside. I put it down and noticed a note wedged into the top of the box. I saw my name on it and opened it up; 

Lea,  
It hurt to think about you being all alone, you need company. I know I can't stay and I am sorry but how about something to remind you of me?!   
B xxx

I stood up from the floor and turned to see Brian standing in the doorway, holding onto a tiny black kitten, "I have decided that Benjamin Jnr here could keep you company whilst I am away?!" He said in his best baby voice, "makes me feel better that you can look after each other." I held my hands out and took Benjamin Jnr from him, he climbed up and licked my nose. I popped him on the floor "thank you Brian" I said kissing him, the only thing interrupting us was a knock on the door a couple of minutes later and a quiet meowing at our feet!


	12. Last day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading guys, if you are enjoying it please comment!

We spent the evening out in the garden, drinking and eating, deep in conversation. The guys wouldn't let me cook so I spend the majority of my evening curled up on Brian's lap or running inside to check Benjamin Jnr was ok.  
"So have you guys had the talk yet?" Joe appeared behind me making me jump out of my skin. "What do you mean the talk? About what's happening?". He looked at me trying to work out if I was being serious "Yeah, you have been around a lot the last few days, when you aren't with us Bri constantly looks at his phone, this is going to be so hard for him. Can't believe you are here in the UK, Bessy would love you!" He must of seen my eyes filling with tears as he pulled me in for a bear hug. Seconds later we were a pile on the floor as Murr and Sal jumped on us nearly suffocating me. Brian walked onto the decking from the kitchen and just stopped to look at us, he started chuckling to himself, "guys don't hurt her please we only have a few hours left and I don't want to spend it in the emergency room with her." A couple of hours later and we all moved inside to the front room, looking at the clock I noticed it was nearly 2 in the morning, Brian caught me looking and cleared his throat. "Right guys I am turning in for the night and taking this beautiful lady with me" I felt my cheeks redden. "Who's sleeping where? I have a spare double bed upstairs and the sofa." I asked trying to work out the logistics of it. "I don't care who it is with but I'm in the spare bedroom, I can not sleep down here with this one" Sal looked out the corner of his eye at Benjamin who was working his way slowly towards Sal, I couldn't help but laugh to myself. They chatted amongst themselves for a couple of minutes whilst I went to get some spare bedding when I walked back in Brian took control. "Right, Murr you are down here. Sally boy, you are up in the spare room. Joey you can share with Sal and protect him from this little fur ball here", he scooped the kitten up, nuzzling him with his nose. About quarter of an hour later everyone was making their ways to their rooms, they had decided they needed to leave mine by ten to get to the airport and check in on time. I went up to my bedroom whilst Brian was checking the other guys were OK, I got undressed and threw on an oversized shirt, I sat on the bed and without any warning burst into tears. Was this really about to end, this time tomorrow he would be back in New York and I would be here with Benjamin not knowing when I would see him next. Not one part of me could see how this would last, I really didn't want to self district the relationship but we were from two different worlds and I couldn't see any way around it, he could do anything he wanted when he was back home and he could have anyone he wanted. Brian walked into the bedroom and automatically came striding towards me, putting 2 mugs onto my bedside table. "What's up babe, what has happened?" He asked sitting next to me on the bed and pulling me in for a hug. "I don't want you to go home, I don't want to loose you" I said through heavy sobs. "What makes you think you are going to loose me, I'm not going anywhere, I know I have to go back home but we will work it out. We will FaceTime all the time and when we don't we will text. We are only 5 hours behind you, so there won't be many times we won't be able to talk. I promise you if it's the last thing I do that we will work it out." With that he kissed me deeply, gently laying me back onto the bed, but not before he pulled the shirt over my head leaving me in a pair of black lace shorts and nothing else. "You are stunning and I love you. I am going to make sure I never let you forget that". He brushed a few stray tears away from my cheek, his tongue trailing all the way down to my navel before working his way back up around my hardening nipples. " let me make love to you, I want to memorise every part of your body". He started to list the parts of my body that he loved, giving me reasons as to why he loved them and then scattering kisses over me, the next 30 minutes was him paying attention to me and nothing else, he didn't take his eyes off of me for a second. I didn't know how to react to this, I felt so close to him, closer than I have felt to anyone before. The whole time just felt like a dream, with no warning at all he slid himself into me with ease, kissing me deeply and looking into my eyes he didn't speed up and didn't make any sound at all, I traced my fingers over his body, trying to remember how his frame felt on my frame, his natural scent, his breathe tickling the hairs on my neck. We seemed to both be making the most of the situation, we knew what was lying ahead of us and part of me thought if we said like this that time would never come. His pace started to speed up, he leaned into kiss me pushing himself deep into me, I felt him come undone above me and that was all it took for me to fall apart beneath him, whilst kissing him hard, holding his hips so he stayed inside me. He rolled off but still continued to kiss me softly, I was finding it difficult to keep my eyes open. "Get some sleep baby girl" he said in a whisper. I couldn't help but look him in the eyes "I don't want to miss a second with you though" I said, "we need to sleep, don't worry I will be here when you wake up".

The alarm went off at 9, I woke up and couldn't believe that I only had an hour left before they left, I turned to look at Brian, he was already awake and smiling at me, "come here" he said and pulled me into the groove of his body. "Smile" he said and out of nowhere took a photo of us on his phone. "That is perfect, everyday I can look at this photo and remember what it's like to wake up with you, we better get showered and ready" he looked at me before climbing off the bed and pulling me off after him. It felt like any other morning of the last week we chatted and laughed whilst getting showered and ready. We went downstairs to find the guys in the living room, Joe looked at his watch before raising his voice "guys lets go and wait for the cabs it's a nice day, give these two time to say goodbye!" He walked over to me "come here, make sure you visit us ok? Bessy will be happy for some female company!" He pulled me into yet another bear hug before moving to the side, "Sweetie, You have been awesome, been a good few days, keep in touch...especially if you have any single friends" Murr said to me before kissing me on the cheek. Sal was next "Lea I am glad we got to meet you because you have made Brian happy, happier than I have seen him in a long time, also it meant you were real and not a figment of his imagination, please don't be a stranger!" He laughed at himself before hugging me. All three of them were stood in front of me and Brian, all of the sudden Murr broke the silence "hey let's take a photo for Instagram!" He received moans from most of us but we all bundled together as he took some photos. They then all made their excuses and moved the suitcases outside whilst waiting for the taxi".   
When they left the house Brian led me over to the sofa, he took my hands in his and as soon as we sat down Benjamin jumped up between us "hey little man you can't get jealous, you are going to have her all to yourself in 15 minutes". 15 minutes, that is all we had left, I started to feel my stomach flip. "Lea, I love you please never forget that, you have Benjamin to look after you, our rings to remind you of what you mean to me and we will FaceTime every day, I will speak to you as much as we can and will never stop thinking about you, please don't doubt that. I know your head will want to tell you different but listen to your heart." He kissed me deeply when we were interrupted by a cough in the doorway, Sal was sheepishly looking round the corner "I'm really sorry guys but our taxi is here Bri, we need to make a move" he smiled at me and moved towards the door. I burst out crying, I couldn't help it I held onto him tight and I felt like I was never going to see him again. I couldn't stop kissing him, I looked up and his eyes were filling with tears "I love you my geeky girl, I will see you soon" he held my hand and walked to the door. I waved to the other guys, Sal was waiting by the door, gave my hand a squeeze before putting an arm around Brian and moving towards the taxis. I just stood there and watched, there was nothing else I could do. The taxis pulled away and Brian watched me until they turned at the end of my road. 

*********4 WEEKS LATER********

The last few weeks was a bit of a roller coaster of emotions. I had missed Brian and felt a bit lost. I was going through my daily routine in a robotic way, the same routine everyday just counting down the hours till I got to go home and speak to Brian, he was doing well and they had started to film the next season so he was getting busy. 

Dee had come back from holiday and her and Tom were closer than ever, they had put a deposit down on a house. I was so happy for her and even though I was in a relationship, I still felt a pang of jealousy. She was coming to see me every few days and we had girly nights in with films, food and drink. She always asked how I was and I always answered that I was fine but I knew she could see right through me. 

One Tuesday I had a particularly bad day, I got home and waited for Brian's 6pm call, it never came, not even a text. I left it till 7pm although it nearly drove me crazy, I rang his number and waited for him to answer, only he didn't. "Oh hi Lea, how can I help?" It was Kelly I remember her from the day at the museum. "Quinn is busy right now we are filming, his work is suffering you really need to stop speaking to him so much, let him go make it easier for him he deserves happiness closer to home." I couldn't believe what she was saying "excuse me?" I asked before I could finish she hung up. What had just happened I couldn't believe it, was she trying to make a move on him, she seemed too nice when I met her before even a bit creepy. I didn't want to call him again, was she trying to tell me he wanted to move on, had he got her to answer? I went to bed early with a film and a bottle of whisky, Benjamin was curled up on the pillow next to me. The more I drank the more paranoid I got and the more I upset myself. At 10:30 my phone rang, it woke me up and I answered it without looking at it. I was faced with Brian his face was not a happy one. "Hey" I said sleepily rubbing my eyes  
"Don't fucking hey me!! Why did you call earlier and tell Kelly you didn't want to speak to me. Getting her to pass on the message that you didn't think this was working?"  
I was shocked, I couldn't help but laugh, "she said that? She told me I need to stop calling you and let you move on to be happy closer to home?!" It was Brian's time to look confused and shocked.   
"Why would she do that" I asked. He grimaced slightly, I didn't think I was going to like where this was going he sighed "a few months ago we went for a drink after work, just me and her. Nothing happened I honestly thought that we were just friends but then she tried to kiss me, she turned a bit nasty telling me that I basically sleep with anything so why was it different for her. I told her we work together so it wouldn't be right and then when she wouldn't accept that I told her I wasn't looking for a relationship" he looked embarrassed whilst looking up at the camera on his phone with puppy dog eyes. "So you didn't sleep with her and now she is mad? But why take it out on me? How long before we met was it?" I asked figuring out in my head what was happening. "About ten days to a couple of weeks" the look on his face showed that he thought I was going to shout.   
"I love you Brian but you can be so redundant sometimes. She is doing it to play with us so if we break up she can be the shoulder to cry on" he understood and agreed with what I was saying, "I will talk to the guys tomorrow, I am not having that!" We sat smiling at each other "if I book you a ticket will you come see me next week?" He asked. I was shocked "you don't have to pay for me I will find my own way to book it" knowing full well I was broke, "don't be silly, I will book a ticket for you and Dee, if she wants to come, and you can come over for a couple of weeks. What do you think?"   
"I think it sounds perfect, I have missed you so much". "I miss you too baby girl, love you. Speak to Dee and let me know ok?" We ended the call and I dialled Dee straight away, she answered as bubbly as ever "fancy a two week trip to New York?" I asked, she started squealing down the phone. New York here I come!!


	13. New York, New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lea and Brian are finally reunited

A week later me and Dee were sitting on a plane on our way to New York. She knew I was nervous about flying so was doing her best to keep me preoccupied. "So must be the real thing if you are happy to get on a plane?" She teased, "shut up!" I smiled at her hitting her with a magazine.   
The next few hours seemed so long, I panicked constantly and by the time we landed all I wanted to do was sleep, I had never been so happy to be on solid ground. "So Brian gave me the address of where they are shooting today and we will go meet them there is that ok?" I asked waiting for our bags to appear on the carousel in front of us. "Of course it is, where are we staying?" I just stopped and looked at her, I can't believe I had been so excited I completely forgot to check where we were staying. "Ummmm....I'm really not sure, I didn't ask, I'm so sorry" Dee threw an arm around me "oh Lea what are we going to do with you, I'm sure it has all been arranged." After waiting for our bags and then making our way through the sea of people we made our way to the front of the airport and I started to look for a taxi. "Oh my god!!" Dee squealed as she grabbed my arms turning me to face left, there I saw Brian, he looked so attractive to me, he had a black tshirt on some knee length cargo shorts his hair pulled out of his face with a black cap. He smiled sweetly at me before basically running towards me waving at Dee before picking me up and spinning me round, kissing me and holding me so tight I didn't think I would be able to breathe. He let go of me before enveloping Dee into a hug, "what are you doing here, I thought you were working?" "Are you joking I wasn't going to let you try and find me alone I just wanted to surprise you" he placed a kiss on the end of my nose before grabbing the bags and tilting his head to gesture us to follow him. "So Brian, hotel plans? Lea has forgotten to ask you and we just were wondering where we were living for the next couple of weeks, a big fancy hotel? A penthouse suite?" Dee skipped alongside him. He unlocked his jeep and threw the bags in the boot before opening the doors for us. "I'm not ignoring your question Dee, how about we go back to mine you girls can freshen up and then we will talk about it?"   
The drive was going to take an hour, music playing and Dee was asleep within 5 minutes. "You look beautiful as always, I have missed you but I can't wait to get my hands on you!" I smiled not sure what to say whilst blushing. "Well let's hope you got us separate rooms then, thank you so much for doing all of this, I will pay you back everything". I said as he looked puzzled at me "what?" I asked as I caught him looking at Dee in the mirror. "I'm glad she is asleep I wanted to speak to you alone about this but I text you a week ago asking if the hotel was booked and you just text back saying you can't wait. I thought you were doing the hotel?" "Brian what do you, you text me saying the hotel is booked!?" I picked up my phone looking through the messages "oh my god, I am so stupid. You were asking if the hotel was booked, you put a question mark how could I have missed that" I said looking at my phone, I couldn't help but tearing up. "Baby don't cry we will sort it out, hotel prices will be expensive now but my phone is in my pocket, get it out for me?" He asked as I reached into his pocket, sliding my hand under his phone and squeezing hold of his leg, "stop that" he said whilst exhaling deeply "stop it or I will pull this car over right now!" The deepness and desperation in his voice was turning me on, I giggled and took his phone out trying to look as innocent as possible whilst feeling heat pool between my legs. Biting my bottom lip between my teeth knowing it drove him wild. "Behave yourself young lady, we need to find places for you to sleep. I have 2 bedrooms but one is more of a room filled with memorabilia and no bed. Drop Sal a text and ask him to get to mine asap please?" I unlocked his phone to see a photo of us as his background. He must of seen me looking at it, "I can't have an hour let alone a day without seeing you, the photo reminds me that you make me a better person" he smiled at me. I sent the text to Sal and looked out of the window, I couldn't help it, the city was beautiful. I felt him hold onto my hand and I couldn't help but get butterflies. He pulled down a street with beautiful houses lining the road, they weren't big or flashy, they looked homely and it was quiet which seemed weird considering we were just driving through the city. He pulled into a driveway, it was a tall narrow house, white with stairs leading up to a wooden porch area. Sal was sitting on the stairs waiting for us, I woke Dee up and we got out of the car, before I knew it Sal had me in a bear hug, he turned and faced Dee, he introduced himself to her, he seemed a bit reserved and me and Brian just looked at each other. The guys got our bags before making our way into the house, the inside was beautiful filled with vintage looking furniture and film memorabilia everywhere, all the sudden there were 3 cats around our feet. We moved towards the kitchen and I took a seat on one of the stools around the island. "So ladies did you want to go up to the bathroom and freshen up, I will get some drinks and we shall sort sleeping arrangements". Dee looked confused at me as I ushered her up the stairs, "second door on the right" Brian called up behind us. We stood side by side in front of the mirror, I washed my face and tied my hair into a loose ponytail, giving myself a quick spritz of perfume. Dee reapplied some make up and we made our way back down the stairs, the guys were chatting over their mugs of coffee, we both sat at the table whilst Brian got us a mug of coffee each, he dropped a kiss on my forehead before sitting down. "So here's how the arrangement is going to go if it's ok with you guys. We obviously got confused over the hotel and any room now is going to cost a fortune and wouldn't be as comfortable as being in a house. Obviously Lea you will be staying here with me, Dee if it's ok with you Sal has a spare room and it will be like staying at a hotel, won't it pal, he only lives about a ten minute walk away" he smirked slapping Sals arm, Sal just smiled and looked down at the table. Dee looked at me "sounds like a plan, gives you guys some time together and I won't need to be using earplugs" she raised her eyebrows looking suggestively at us. I leant over under Brian's arm and snuggled up next to him, enjoying being so close to him again.   
After about half an hour Sal suggested he took Dee to his house to get comfortable then we were going to meet up with everyone later on to get some dinner. Dee assured me she would be fine and followed Sal as he left the house carrying her bags. I closed the door behind her and as soon as I did I had an arm either side of me pinning me to the door, I wriggled my way round to face Brian, he looked at me biting his lip and raising his eyebrows. "They took their time leaving didn't they?" He joked before leaning in to kiss me, I felt weak straight away i couldn't believe he had this effect on me I still got butterflies and when he touched me it was like we were only the two people in the world. He deepened his kiss, I felt his tongue run over my bottom lip trying to force entry and I couldn't help but fall straight into it, pushing my tongue against his whilst my hands got tangled in his hair, I pulled one of my legs up so it was around his waist, this seemed to be all he needed to force my other leg up as he held me around his waist and practically ran towards the stairs. Just before the top of the stairs he stumbled, I fell onto the wooden stairs with a thud, he hurried himself to get up "I am so sorry" he looked at me all I could do was laugh I grabbed his tshirt pulling him towards me and kissed him deeply "I need you now" I looked him in the eye, he looked shocked and also turned on, he tried to get me as upright as possible whilst laying on the stairs and he pulled at my jeans, undoing them and sliding them down to my knees, he rolled me over so I had my knees on one step and my elbows on another, I heard him undo his belt and without warning he pulled my underwear to one side before pushing deeply into me, I couldn't help but moan loudly. I had been aching for this for weeks, he was hurried and it didn't take him long to start to get sloppy. "I'm sorry I don't think I can last" he said to me, before reaching round to tease my clit with his fingers, rubbing me hard and making me orgasm nearly right away, my knees started to give way, "no baby don't you dare hold on a couple more minutes" I turned to look at him smiling and biting down on my lips "fuck, oh god, Lea" he pretty much screamed as I could feel him pulsating inside of me. He moved to the side of me and we just laid on the stairs looking at each other. "We better get showered and changed, we are meeting at the restaurant in about an hour and a half" he said whilst getting up holding a hand out to offer to help me. We moved to his bedroom, it was open and airy, he had a unit with drawers and a tv on top of it, a wardrobe and then a bed with crisp sheets on it. He had a few photos around and then framed film posters on the wall. He ran downstairs to get my back for me, I looked at the photos there was one of him and the guys at Joes wedding, one one him with some other friends, I recognised a couple of them he was so young in the photo it was easily 10 years ago and then a picture of him with who I could only assume were his parents looking so proud as he is stood in the middle in his fireman uniform. I turned around wondering where he had got to when I saw him leaning against the doorframe looking at me, "I wondered were you had got too!" I smiled at him moving across to get my back, I opened it removing my make up bag and wash bag, and pulled out an over sized black vest top, a pair on skinny jeans and a pair of knee high boots. After showing me the bathroom I stood under the hot water of the shower, it felt so nice that I didn't want to move I didn't realise just how tired I was. I made my way to the bedroom as Brian jumped in the shower, I did my make up and got dressed, leaving my hair damp and scrunching it so it was left wavy. Just then Brian's phone rang I saw it was Sal so answered it, "oh hey Lea, we will be there in 15 minutes and the cab will be there as we arrive, see you in a bit". When Brian walked back into the room I let him know he had 15 minutes to get ready "baby girl I only need 5" he said kissing me intensely pushing me against the wardrobe, "you will be the death of me tonight" he winked before dressing in a pair of jeans and a checked shirt. "Looking handsome as ever" I stood in front of him and kissed him, inhaling deeply as I smelt his cologne. With that there was a knock on the door as we made our way out of the house he put some food down for the cats and gave them some water. "Ready to meet everyone?" He asked, "everyone?" I questioned. He looked at me and could tell he seemed to be regretting what he said "don't panic, I just have been talking about you so much that people wanted to meet you, it will be us, Sal,Dee, James, Joe and Bessy, Bryan and Walt and Debbie. I promise they will all be on best behaviour" he held my hand tight "I'm in this for the long run Lea, time for everyone to meet the woman he made me feel alive again" with that I couldn't help but feel anything but happy, I followed him down to the cab and we were on our way.


	14. An evening out!

We arrived at the restaurant, the journey to the restaurant was quiet, Brian knew it was because I was nervous and held onto my hand the whole way. I wasn't quite sure why Dee and Sal were being so quiet though. "You all settled then Dee?" I asked trying to start a conversation, "yep, all unpacked and ready for a relaxing couple of weeks" she smiled back at me although it seemed like she was trying to convince herself. 

"I'm really nervous babe, what if they don't like me?" I said to him trying to stay outside and not pass out. "Are you kidding they will love you" he said throwing his arm around me and walking in. The waitress led us to a table at the back, there were so many people. It was a little Italian restaurant which didn't look like it would be that busy, being a good thing as we nearly took up half of the seating. Sal and Dee had walked in before us and we're already half way through their introductions before we joined them. Brian coughed and all of the sudden nearly the whole table looked up at us, Murr waved at me, whilst Bryan and Walt stood up to introduce themselves. I recognised them from listening to the podcast but didn't want it to seem to fan girly so smiled and introduced myself, "welcome to the mad house" Walt joked introducing me to his wife before we went to take a seat. "Hey up here lovebirds!!" Joe exclaimed from the other end of the table hugging me before introducing me to Bessy. "Hi, it's so nice to meet you I have heard a lot about you" she smiled before patting the seat next to her as a gesture to sit down. She must of seen the nerves written over my face, she rubbed my arm whilst smiling at me "I know it's intimidating but don't worry you will get used to it". The time flew by and after the first 20 minutes of questions being thrown our direction, Dee seemed to be getting on with Sal and Murr and the rest of us just engaged in general conversation. Once we finished the meal Bryan, Walt and Debbie made their excuses and headed home, "let's stay and have a few more drinks, would be rude not to give these girls a proper New York welcome" Murr said moving his way to squeeze Dee's shoulders smiling his way down the table to us. "Okay, let's move somewhere more suitable then. Our regular bar is just around the corner, shall we make our way there?" Sal asked "let's go" I answered smiling holding onto Brian's hand. We all stood up ready to leave "we are going to make a move guys, we have our babysitter to get back to" Joe said waving to us. Bessy pulled me to the side "The guys are shooting tomorrow, I know you girls probably have a lot planned but if you wanted to join us in the afternoon I will be in Central Park with Milana, we normally take a picnic if the guys are shooting as means we get to spend some time with them", "we planned to do the Statue of Liberty in the morning but nothing after that, sounds perfect" I said as she hugged me, she felt so tiny next to me "it's good to have another girl with me" she whispered before holding Joes hand and walking out the restaurant. "They are too cute" Dee said linking arms with me, turning her attention to the 3 guys left "lead the way boys". 

We walked about 5 minutes and arrived at a bar, it was packed and there was a line outside, "stay with us ok" the guys said "it can get a little crazy so do you mind if we split you up for a second" Sal asked, Brian held my hand and kissed my head, it was like he knew the anxiety running through me. When we turned to the entrance of the bar Sal was holding onto Dee's hand whilst waving to screaming fans, Murr could tell I was nervous and before I knew it he jogged in front of me and Brian, making his way to the line waving and taking photos with everyone he could. We made a smooth entrance in without many people seeing, I mouthed a thank you to Murr before he gave me a wink. We got to a booth over by the bar, after about 15 minutes Murr joined us. "Thank you so much for that" I said passing a bottle of beer across to him. "No problem, we going to go dance?!" He said taking a swig of his beer holding his hand out to me. "You coming?" I asked Brian, he looked me in the eye raising his eyebrows shaking his head. "You two?" I said turning to Dee and Sal, they both shuffled along getting out of the booth "Brian doesn't dance" Sal said waving at him as we moved towards the floor. We danced to every song for about 15 minutes, Murr kept twirling me around and Sal and Dee kept trying to embarrass each other with their dance moves. Murr seemed to have an admirer, a young blonde girl kept dancing next to him smiling, "I'm going to sit back down" I shouted to him over the music before making my way over to Brian, I felt awful leaving him sitting in the booth by himself but he was so insistent. The closer I got to the table the less it seemed I should of worried, he was being kept company by 3 ladies who had moved their way either side of him. I stood and watched for a minute, counting to ten trying not to over react, one of them kept touching his arm and the other side the other kept whispering in his ear, the one on the end was leaning over the table to talk to him whilst quite obviously giving him full view of her cleavage, or should I say more like her whole breasts as they spilled out of the top that was far too small for her. He was smiling and laughing and taking photos with them, when he looked up and saw me leaning against the bar, as much as I tried to have a blank look on my face he could obviously see this hurt me and asked the girl to the left of him to move. "My friend is back now girls if you don't mind we want to get back to our evening" he shuffled out of the booth, "you aren't going anywhere you are with us now!" The girl said quite sternly whilst hooking her fingers through his belt loops pulling him towards her, he lost his balance and fell into the table knocking over a couple of bottles. The out of nowhere that boost of confidence that comes alongside with anger overtook me. I moved over to the table literally peeling the brunettes fingers from Brian's jeans "I believe he said he wanted to get on with his evening?" I asked them whilst she looked at me angry that I had put my hands on her. "Oh look another groupie, honey he calls you a friend but only to be polite don't flatter yourself, your British and have horrific taste in fashion and to be honest you are nothing special to look at, he probably won't even take you home" the girl that was in the middle laughed out whilst looking me up and down. "It's always nice to meet fans, but I think she will be coming home with me ladies, this is my girlfriend and she is worth ten of you, put together, and then times that by about 100" Brian came up towards me wrapping his arms around my waist. They all looked in shock at him, "this was our table, leave now, please" I said to them as they all got up from the table, as the last one got up she pretended to trip tipping a glass of red wine down me. "Oops" she said giggling to herself moving away, I waved at them as they walked looking back every so often, counting to ten under my breath. "What are you doing baby girl" he asked me noticing what I was doing, "trying to keep calm, I feel sick at the thought of women touching you all the time and they seemed pretty confident you take women home all the time." He looked annoyed "You knew my reputation we have spoken about this Lea, you know that's not me, it's only you". "Yeah it's only me when I'm around, I am going to go clean myself up, this top is probably ruined now" I stood up making my way to the toilets, there was a queue outside the ladies, I felt a tap on my shoulder "hey, I hope you don't mind me interrupting but I was clearing the table next to Brian when the girls went up to him, he was nothing but polite to them, he didn't flirt once, all he has been doing is watching you dance". I was face to face with one of the barmaids, "they were out of order, get cleaned up in the disabled loo" she smiled leading me to the door and unlocking it, "I'm Casey let me know if you need anything, and I hope this isn't weird but it's nice to finally meet you" she closed the door behind her. Had Brian been speaking about me, they did say this was their local. Was I stupid thinking I could deal with how famous he was, my head wouldn't let me surely. I felt like I needed to text him

I'm sorry, i guess I just need to get used to this, be out soon xxx

I took my top off and started to run it under the hot water, just then I heard the door shut behind me. I jumped, I didn't remember locking the door, I was stood there in my bra and covered myself with my wet top turned around, I was faced with Brian who was locking the door with the key from the inside. "You left the key in the door" he smirked before making his way over to me, he undid my jeans with one hand whilst tipping my face up to his with the other. He kissed me deeply whilst pushing my jeans down to my ankles and my underwear soon followed, he lifted me onto the counter top "shit it's freezing" I laughed, "well let's warm you up then" he knelt down pulling my knees apart before wasting no time pulling my hips forward to the edge of the counter and expertly moving his tongue over my clit, he didn't seem to be planning on taking his time, he could feel me getting wetter by the second, "you taste so good" he said not moving his mouth from me, the vibrations sending shivers up my spine. He nibbled me a couple of times before then sliding his tongue into me, I couldn't help but gasp, holding his head so that he didn't move, he could tell I was enjoying it. He continued to nibble and lick at my clit feeling my hips pushing towards him, he stood up and rid himself of his jeans within seconds. His solid erection was already glistening at the tip, he pulled me towards him and entered with ease. "You are so fucking tight, you give me no hope" he said looking me in the eye. The counter didn't seem to be the right height, he pulled out of me as I whimpered needing to feel him inside me again, he kissed me, assaulting me with his tongue I could taste myself on him. "Turn around" he said as I followed his instruction he looked at me in the mirror. He pushed back into me before lifting me up so my back was pressed against him, he continued to push in and out of me at a relentless rhythm whilst teasing my nipples with his free hand. To watch us in the mirror was all I needed I came hard and pushed myself down onto him, I rode out my orgasm with him watching me in the mirror as I gyrated against him. I moved off of him pushing him over to the toilet, I hovered over him pushing myself onto his hard cock, by the look on his face he wasn't far behind I lowered as far as I could, before moving my hips in a figure of 8, biting at his collarbone and scraping my nails down his chest. He seemed to enjoy himself, he took my hardened nipple in his mouth biting down on it, I let out a scream but not a pained scream more of a scream to let him know I enjoyed it and to carry on. The closer he was getting the rougher he was getting, I knew I was going to be bruised however looking at him he wasn't getting away unmarked himself, he was covered in bites and was bleeding from the nail marks on his chest. He bit his lip and that's all I needed to plant my feet either side of him lifting myself up and down in him until his hands pushed my hips down onto him as he groaned loudly watching me rock on him whilst I felt him empty into me. After a couple of minutes of being a sweaty pile of limbs I climbed off before moving over to get my clothes, he noticed me looking at the bite marks in the mirror, coming up behind me her moved my hair to one side leaning his head on my shoulder catching my eye in the mirror. "Like I said Lea you will be the death of me", I smiled turning to face him "just try keep up old man" I laughed moving towards the door.   
We sneaked back to the table, all 3 of the others were looking at us with grins on their faces. "You dirty dog!!" Murr exclaimed grinning at us twitching his head to the side. "Dude your bleeding" Sal said pointing at Brian's shirt. "Sorry guys someone got a little playful" he smiled holding onto me from behind, my body already aching to have him again. "And that's our cue to go" he smiled at me. "You guys coming?" I asked Dee, Sal and Murr. "We are going to carry on here for a while I wanna keep dancing" Dee answered kissing me on the cheek, "stay safe" I said to her "I will see you in the morning". With that they headed out onto the floor, Murr started to dance with the pretty blonde from earlier whilst Dee and Sal were out dancing each other yet again. "I could get used to it here" I whispered into Brian's ear whilst making our way out of the bar to the nearest cab.


	15. How could you

The next morning we both got ready for the day ahead of us, Brian was going to be filming in an office giving presentations and I was ready for some sight seeing like the tourist I was. I have always loved New York and to finally be here was all too exciting for me.  
We left the house and walked towards Sals house, Brian had said it was only a short walk and we spent our time just chatting about what the plan was for today "so a film night tonight, just a night in me and you?" He asked walking backwards in front of me. "Sounds perfect, take away and a film, just you and me". He stopped in front of a house that looked identical to his and made his way up the steps outside. "Doors locked, that's odd, his curtains are shut as well, looks like someone has overslept" Brian said reaching behind a metal box on the wall to pick out a key, "better go wake them up!!" "Sounds like a plan, Dee can sleep like a log not a lot can wake her!" I smiled taking my shoes off as I entered the house. Sure enough we walked into the house and could hear an alarm going off "how could anyone sleep through that?" Brian laughed walking up the stairs and making his way to Sals room, a couple of seconds later the alarm stopped and Brian walked out looking confused. "He isn't in there, but his phone is, I hope he is ok" he walked straight passed me and looked in the bathroom to find it empty. "This is the spare room, do you want to see if Dee is in there?" He asked opening the door for me, i walked in and stood still. "Brian??" I whispered "come in here" I felt him move behind me where we both looked on to see Dee asleep on the bed, sheet covering her just enough to keep her modest and next to her was Sal, completely naked on top of the sheet, his head buried onto Dee's chest. I felt sick and moved past Brian to head to the stairs, I walked down and stood in the kitchen. Brian chased me down and as soon as he looked at me I couldn't help but be sick, running to the sink. He made his way over and rubbed my back. "What the fuck is going on?" Sal said groggily, rubbing his eyes and looking questioning. "I didn't want you guys to find out like this it just kind of happened." "When?" Brian asked him, I couldn't understand how Sal was taking such a calm approach to this. "We were chatting when we walked back to the house, I was helping her unpack and we kept finding ways to touch, we kissed and got pretty handsy before leaving to go to the restaurant and then last night when we got back, we had a few drinks and it just went from there. She really is amazing Lea"  
"She's amazing?! How could you do this?" I asked feeling myself shaking, "what do you mean" Sal asked a quizzed look on his face. "She has a boyfriend they have just got a house together, they were a forever deal!! I didn't have you down as one of those guys" and then I saw it, his face dropped and it was like I had kicked a puppy in front of him, "she didn't tell me, she has a boyfriend??" He slid down the wall and put his head in his hands, "I am such a dick" he said looking at Brian. I looked at the 2 of them "Sal you weren't to know, you guys have to go film I will talk to Dee, can I have a key though please Sal, I will lock up I promise" he nodded and I took the spare key, I hugged Sal and kissed him on the cheek before pulling Brian in and kissed him hard on the lips, "I love you" I said my forehead pressed against his. They both made their way out the house, I had to just figure out what I was going to do.

An hour passed, I had sat at the table with some iced tea from the fridge and thought about the situation. I couldn't of blamed Sal, the look on his face told me what I needed to know, he had no idea about Dee's situation. So what did I do, she was my best friend and I loved her, she was family more than a friend but she knew how I feel about cheating, she helped me through Rick cheating on me she saw it tear me apart and now she was doing the same to Tom. I walked up the stairs and knew what I had to do, I laid her out some clothes, she was still dead to the world. I then started to pack her suitcase, I couldn't believe I was doing it but she needed to sort out whatever this was and needed to speak to Tom. I had nearly finished when she started to stir, she pulled the sheet over her and looked up at me. "Surprised to see me?" I asked sitting down on the stool by the dressing table. She looked at the empty bed next to her and then around the room, "he has gone to work with Brian, what happened Dee? What is going on? You have some clothes on the end of the bed meet me downstairs in a minute" I walked out the door, she didn't even attempt to speak to me. I made her some tea and went to sit in the front room to wait for her, I found a pile of clothes on the floor, I just kicked them to one side and perched on the sofa. Everything in the house was pristine, he had slight decorations scattered around and photos of family and friends. I heard Dee clear her throat behind me before moving to the sofa and looking at me like a teenager who had got caught out by their parents. "Thanks for the tea, fucked up didn't I?" she said taking a sip and looking at me. "What happened Dee, what about Tom and how could you do that to Sal he thought you were single". "It just happened Lea, I don't know how to explain it, I love My life so much but when Sal touched me it reminded me what it was like to be in the exciting part of the relationship. Do you hate me?"  
I looked at her and my head was so confused "I love you, you are my best friend but it doesn't mean I have to like you right now. You have done the one thing I am against, it hurts people and is such a thoughtless act, what was it worth? Sal is distraught and Tom thinks that you are going home to him to live the rest of your lives together and it will start to eat you up". "I need to fix this what do I do? I need your help Lea I really do". I looked her in the eyes, "you need to go home, I have got your bag ready and I really don't want you here, I need to have some time apart from you as this is a side of you I don't know. You need to go and speak to Tom, tell him what has happened and hope he forgives you, he is a good man and you need to make it work if you love him. I will be in contact but please don't call me unless it's an emergency, I will be back in 2 weeks and we will go from there. The relationship with Tom is more important than our friendship right now. I will get you to the airport and we will get you on a flight ok?" She nodded at me before moving to get her stuff together. On our way out of the house I noticed that she had left Sal a note, I glanced at it before leaving without her realising, it simply read:

Sal, I am sorry for everything. Please don't blame yourself I hope there will come a time when we will be friends. Take care, Dee xx

The journey to the airport was quiet, we were both in the back of the taxi not saying a word to each other, the taxi pulled up and Dee got out waiting for me to follow. "Sorry" she said, I cut her off before she got any further "make it right, let me know when you land and that you are safe. Take me to Central Park? " I asked the cab driver before it pulled away, I felt lonely at that point, I came to New York excited for what the 2 weeks could bring and only 24 hours into it I was sending off my best friend back home and had no idea what would happen for the rest of my time here. I picked up my phone and text Bessy

Hi Bessy, it's Lea. Are you free for coffee before meeting the guys? x 

She replied straight away saying she would meet me at a coffee shop by the park, I let the driver know the name and he continued to drive me there. When I arrived I got out of the cab and paid, walking towards the coffee shop I saw Bessy waiting for me with a pushchair. After saying our hellos we took our seats and I started to explain everything that had happened this morning, she didn't seem too surprised by some of it so I was assuming the guys had told Murr and Joe and Joe in turn told Bessy. After all the tension was gone and we caught up on the mornings events we decided to make our way to the park. Before leaving Bessy bought a box of cakes and we were on our way, after walking for a few minutes we saw the group all huddled together nothing could of really prepared us for what we saw next, Joe was walking around the park going up to random strangers and asking them to help him rub sun cream in, only problem was he had the tiniest pair of shorts on I think I had ever seen. "He really has no shame does he?!" I asked turning to Bessy, she was laughing so much she wasn't even making any noise. We stood observing for a few minutes when Milana started to cry, Bessy picked up the cakes off the top of the pushchair and realised she then didn't have a free hand, I went to take the box off of her when she just looked at me "take Milana, she wants some company and she is probably bored with me". I took her out of the pushchair and she started laughing straight away playing with my hair, "hey cutie, were you just disturbed by seeing your daddy dressed like that?" I asked her chuckling along with Bessy. We put down a blanket and made ourselves comfortable, by the sounds of it Bessy just waits for them to notice her as she never wants to impose. After about half an hour we were sitting down talking about anything, just easy conversation which is what I needed after this morning. "So what's going to happen with you two? What do you want it to become? If you don't mind me asking that is!" I didn't know how to answer, "I have a job back in the UK, although I don't really enjoy it, my family is there but I don't always see them. The guys met them when they were over but I haven't even seen them since. I don't want to impose and I am a bit of a lot to take on. This might seem weird but has Brian ever said he wants kids?". "Well he is amazing with kids, probably as he is a big kid himself. He has never mentioned it but I think he would like to settle eventually, why do you ask?" I looked away feeling like a let down "I can't have children and I don't want to screw up his life, just waiting till he wants more." Bessy looked at me and smiled "he loves you and I don't think that is a deal breaker, there are ways to get children even if they aren't your own. You guys will work it out."  
I continued to help Milana keep he balance whilst she wandered around the blanket getting excited about anything she saw, I looked over to where the guys were filming and caught Brian looking at me with Milana just staring leaning forward and smiling. I waved and it seemed to break his focus, it was as if he didn't realise I had seen him, he smiled and called one of the film crew over. Next thing we knew the guys were taking out their earphones and making their way over, Joe putting some clothes on before walking over after the others. They all say on the blanket and Murr picked up Milana and started talking to her. I moved so I was in between Brian and Sal. Sal still looking hurt and like he was expecting me to shout at him, I moved myself under his arm and cuddled him, "hey you, you better be smiling?" I asked having him in the side until he lost control and started giggling. "Cakes anyone?" Bessy asked opening the box, she didn't have to ask as all the sudden all of them were arguing over who was having what. We sat talking for half hour, "you looked amazing earlier, you can tell how much you love kids just by the look in your eyes when you are around them. I have no idea what you are doing to me" Brian whispered in my ear as I lent my back against him, I turned to kiss him before they got called back to finish filming. After a couple of hours of relaxing in the sun the guys started to pack up for the day. After the day I had I was looking forward to an evening with just me and Brian.


	16. Last night together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been a while, hoping to get chapters out more often

The next week and a half went by in a blur, we only had a day left and it was never going to feel like long enough. The time was filled with doing general tourist things, the Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building and a few others. As well as filling our evenings with time alone together it was hard to keep our hands off each other, the honeymoon period was still going strong. Most of the time when we were out and I was with Brian and he seemed to enjoy seeing me in awe of everything. We went to Broadway with the guys and had an amazing time and also spent a day going shopping with Bessy. It was perfect but everywhere we went there were fans everywhere, most of them were friendly but there were a select few that poured themselves over the guys and I couldn't help but feel jealousy at some of the women's open offers to Brian whilst I was there. 

We were sitting in Brian's front room watching a film, he had been out filming for the morning so it was nice to spend some time with him. "What do you want to do tonight, order in? Or I could cook?" I asked him, he pulled my legs from under me and wrestled me on the sofa. I knew where this was heading, it seemed to be all we did behind closed doors. However this time I was mistaken, he nuzzled my cheek and propped himself onto his elbows, he played with my hair and moved it from my face. "Actually I have plans" my stomach dropped, was he leaving me alone for the evening, "oh ok, that's cool". "With you Lea, I'm not going to abandon you. What is going on in that head of yours to make you think I would do that?" I started to laugh, I know my head plays tricks on me and this was just another example of it but Brian knew that was what was happening and cut it short. "What are the plans?" I asked as he hadn't mentioned it at all. "I will tell you in a min just need to run to the bathroom, did you want anything on my way back?" He asked walking towards the door. "Just some tea if that's ok?" I asked as he nodded and made his way towards the staircase. I continued to watch the film, I had seen it numerous times before but just became so engrossed, I had a cat on my lap, one curled up at my feet and one on the back of the sofa with its paws on my shoulder. I felt like I belonged here it was second nature and I didn't know how this would play out but for once I decided to try and take it a day at a time. After a while Brian came back in and put a mug on the coffee table, he then sat back and continued to watch the film. "What's going on?" I asked "what are the plans". "Oh so I thought we could go out for dinner, but it's up to you if you don't want to we don't have to" he didn't seem bothered either way. "Shit I think I left the window open in the bathroom, the cats are going to escape" he said pulling himself off the sofa and running towards the stairs. The cats were with me so I didn't see the hurry but I knew how forgetful he could be, all of the sudden I heard him shout "baby can you come here a minute I need some help". I shook my head whilst moving the cats off of me and walking towards the stairs "what have you done now?" I asked but received no answer, I got to the bathroom and the light was off and the blind closed, I looked up to see candles scattered everywhere, a massive bubble bath in his stand alone bath and in the bath was Brian with two bottles of beer smiling at me. "Come here" he said kneeling up when I got close enough to him, he started to take off my clothes. "Come and get in here with me, I want to spend some time together." I shed the last of my clothes and climbed in, I faced him and we just sat there smiling to each other "turn around I want to relax you and I don't have much longer with you so I want to take advantage of it". He planted kisses over my shoulders nestling into my neck, I turned my head to kiss him deeply. I leant back onto him and we just stayed laying in the hot water for what seemed like forever. "I'm going to get out and leave you to wash your hair, see you in a minute" with that he climbed out of the bath and made his way to the bedroom, I slid down the back of the bath emerging myself completely in the water, I wanted to stay like this forever. I washed my hair and wrapped a towel around me, "Brian? What's the plan for this evening, you are being very secretive" I tied my hair up in a bun and as I lifted my head I found Brian was no where to be seen. What I did see however was an outfit laid out on the bed. I walked over and read the note that laid on top of everything:

Lea,   
I am going to make your last night one to remember, get dressed and I will see you soon.  
All my love, Brian xxx

I picked up the dress that laid on the bed, it was a long sleeved dress that rested mid thigh, it was black and lace. Putting it on, it clung to my curves perfectly, it laid across my collar bone and the back of the dress scooped down to half way down my back. I dried my hair so it was perfectly straight and rested just below my shoulders, i put minimal make up on and the shoes that sat at the foot of the bed were black heels, not too high, he must of had in mind how accident prone I was. I checked myself in the mirror and couldn't believe how chic I looked, it was rare that I wasn't in my jeans. I walked downstairs to find Brian dressed in a suit with is hair slicked back and his beard trimmed, he looked amazing and as soon as I entered the room a smiled spread across his face. "You look amazing" he said walking towards me and kissing me on the cheek. "You don't look that bad yourself" I smiled looking up at him even with my heels on "this dress, the shoes, everything is amazing you really didn't have to". "I know but I wanted to and it isn't my great taste, I mean you have seen the way I dress right?!"   
"Bessy?" I asked him knowing he must of got a little help from somewhere  
"Yeah" he answered "it was at least 95% her input" he laughed brushing my hair back from my face. "There is something missing the though, turn around" he requested, I spun round so my back was facing him, when all the sudden his arms passed over my head and he clasped a necklace onto me.   
"Oh my god you didn't have to get me jewellery as well" I said moving across to the mirror, it was a ruby and emerald stone on a silver chain. "This is beautiful" I said looking at him. "You need to stop buying me jewellery though I don't need it and you should be spending your money on better things" I said playing with the ring he had bought me weeks before.   
"I just saw it and couldn't help it, I had to have something to input that Bessy didn't have final say on. I figured it is simple enough for you to wear everyday without showing the world your inner geek. I know that Wizard of Oz is your favourite movie it just seemed to be made for you"  
I smiled at him, "thank you. So what is the plan for tonight you haven't told me you just told me to get dressed."  
"We are going to a nice restaurant and going to have a farewell meal, I also figure it may be nice, as you are a big part of my life, for you to meet my parents"  
I was shocked by how it didn't bother me, I actually felt excited about it. "Sounds like a perfect last night" he held out his hand as we walked to the door.  
About 10 minutes later Brain pulled his jeep into a parking space and made his way round to open my door, we walked up to this fancy restaurant. It was small and still on the Island but still seemed to be quite popular. We walked in and a waiter took us to our table, Brian's parents were already there and stood as soon as they saw us. All the sudden I felt nauseous this was a big deal to me and what happens if they don't like me. Brian's dad smiled and reached his hand out "it's nice to meet you Lea, we have heard a lot about you" I felt my cheeks redden as I shook his hand looking at Brian who looked just embarrassed as I was by his comment, "it's nice to meet you" I said as I moved across to his mum next I went to hold my hand out as she pulled me in and hugged me "it's so good to meet you, Brian shows us photos but it's nice to actually see you." 

We sat eating and drinking for a couple of hours, it was a nice restaurant and I couldn't help but feel on show so was quiet. "You ok?" Brian whispered in my ear, "fine just a little nervous and I don't want tomorrow to come" I whispered back into his ear, he held my cheek and kissed me gently, turning our attention back to the table we saw his mum and dad smiling at us. "Sorry about that, it was rude, I just can't believe she is going home tomorrow" Brian said smiling and putting his arm around me. "I feel like we don't know enough about you Lea, what do you do for a living?" His dad asked   
"I work for a PA firm, they have been amazing but I don't think that I can progress there, it's not want I wanted to do with my life but it seems to be what I got comfortable doing"  
"What did you want to do? What is your dream job?" Brian asked looking confused.   
"I would love to work as a keeper in a zoo, I am a trained vet nurse but there were no opportunities once I was trained. So I just fell into the job I am in now" with that I heard a slight chuckled from his mums direction, I looked puzzled over at her "that is Brian's childhood dream, he has always loved animals." Then his dad added "with all your likes and dislikes it is like you are the same person." The rest of the evening was filled with small talk, we spoke about family life and embarrassing stories from Brian's childhood, they also asked questions about me and my childhood. The restaurant started to empty and we realised just how late it was. We got up and started to say our goodbyes "have a safe journey home" his dad said to me whilst hugging me goodbye, I moved over to his mum and she hugged me tight "thank you for coming into his life, fly safe and please come back soon." We walked them the short distance to their car and waved them goodbye as they pulled away. Brian held my hand and walked to his car, we pulled on to his drive a short time after and made our way to the house. When we got in I found my bags packed in the kitchen "what's happened?" I asked Brian "I got Joe and Bessy to come round and pack your stuff up so we could make the most of every last minute, I hope you don't mind", "I don't mind at all that is amazing, thank you", he made some coffee as the cats made there way through our feet, i took my heels off and went to hug Brain, snaking my arms around his waist, my small frame pressed against his. "I can't believe I fly back tomorrow it's gone so fast" I looked up at him pouting. "Quit your job and come live here then" he said but his voice didn't seem to have a joking tone to it "behave yourself I can't pack my life up and come live here that is crazy!" I exclaimed "if we are going to be together it will have to happen eventually, why not sooner rather than later?" I laughed, placing a kiss on his lips. "I am going to go get changed, I will be back in a minute." I took of the dress and sat on the edge of the bed, did he really just ask me that, he was just joking surely. I mean what was waiting for me at home, a dead end job, my parents and one close friend who I hadn't spoken to for the last 2 weeks. I decided to put it down to a spur of the moment comment. "Brian can you come up here please?" I shouted downstairs, he came running up and when he entered the bedroom I made sure I was standing in the middle of the room, my black and red silk underwear forming everything perfectly. His mouth fell open, "oh my god" he whispered through a heavy breathe before walking across the room picking me up on the way and not stopping till he threw me on the bed. Everything was frenzied I pulled at his shirt ripping the buttons and pulled at his belt. "I need you now" I said to him urging him on, he stood up and rushed out of his clothes. He dropped to his knees and wasted no time in pulling the silk to one side and running his tongue along my wet opening, assaulting my clit with his tongue whist pumping me with his fingers, with no time at all I was gasping "fuck....Brian.....I'm going to.. Slow down...fuck" I can't explained the sounds that escaped me at that point I screamed and groaned and made animalistic groans from my throat, but instead of stopping like he normally does to allow me to come down from my high he pulled his fingers out slowly and replaced them with his tongue, "you taste so fucking good" he hummed sending vibrations over me as I was so sensitive. "I need you now" I said to him clambering away and pushing him down onto the bed, it didn't take long before I pushed myself down onto him, resting my hands on his shoulders I started pumping myself up and down on him, every now and again lifting myself nearly all the way off of him and then pushing back down again hard, he laid there watching me as I started to play with my nipple with one hand and played with my clit with the other. Making myself cum as I continued moving on him. He had enough and wanted to take control, he flipped me over and pulled me up till I was on all fours, he held onto my hair and took a handful wrapping it around his wrists whilst keeping the other on my hip slamming into me from behind. "You like that baby girl? You like me fucking you hard". All I could do was to moan loudly "fuck baby I'm going to cum. Shit, fuck me" he released inside of me as I pushed myself back onto him hard. We both collapsed on the bed. "I'm going to make some coffee, meet you downstairs?" He asked, "be down in a second" I smiled still collapsed on my front on the bed unable to move. It was so different to our previous last night together. It was so urgent we didn't even manage to remove my lingerie it was all just pulled to the side, my core was throbbing I just couldn't get enough of him. I got off the bed removed my underwear and pulled on one of Brian's tshirts over my head and pulled my hair into a ponytail, I went downstairs and found Brian in a pair of jogging bottoms sitting on the sofa, i climbed on next to him and cuddled up to him. "That was amazing" I mumbled into his chest, "please think about what I asked before then it could be like that all the time" he said kissing my head. 

There was a loud knocking at the door, I opened one eye and looked at the clock on the wall, 8:30am. We had fallen asleep on the sofa and now it was time for me to go, in fact that was Sal beating down the door as we were meant to meet him half an hour ago to take me to the airport. I ran upstairs to shower and change whilst Brian answered the door. "What the fuck dude?" He asked Brian walking in, "sorry we fell asleep on the sofa, ten mins?" Sal nodded and Brian ran up the stairs. He jumped in the shower behind me, "we don't have time for this" I smiled kidding him. "I know but I need to memorise you" he said kissing my neck, he washed his hair and stepped out. He turned off the water jumped back in behind me and before I knew it he held his phone above us taking a photo of us. "Oh my god that is awful delete it!" I laughed grabbing for his phone. "We don't have time, it's for my private collection anyways" he said smiling at me. He threw on some jeans and a tshirt. "Shit Bessy packed all of my clothes I have nothing to wear" I smiled to Brian, he went to his drawers and pulled out a pair of black jogging bottoms and his FDNY tshirt, "put those on baby, you will be comfortable and you will have part of me with you". I kissed him whilst tying my hair into a pony tail and making my way down the stairs putting my converse on we made our way out the house. The whole way to the airport I was curled up against Brian, I couldn't believe I was doing this again I didn't know how much more I could handle. We got to the gate and Sal passed me my ticket and passport, "take care Lea", "love you Sally boy, we will talk soon ok?" I smiled at him I couldn't help but feel he was still hurt over the events of a couple of weeks ago. He smiled in agreement and started wandering away. "I love you baby girl" Brian said holding me close, "we will see each other soon and call me as soon as you land please, I am going to miss your face, your lips, you laugh, the way you sleep." I couldn't say anything, I was too busy holding back my tears, "I love you, thank you for an amazing time" Brian wiped a tear away with his thumb and kissed me deeply. I walked towards the gate, my last view of him was him standing there with Sals arm around him and his eyes glistening. What was I going to do?


	17. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, please let me know what you think

I walked through the front door and dropped my bags, I was glad to be home but felt so lonely. I stood still for a minute and picked up the post from the side. "bill, bill, junk, bill...." I murmured to myself before coming across a hand written letter. I knew the writing straight away, big and bubbly just like her personality. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water before making my way into the front room. Sitting on the sofa i sudden felt something jump onto my lap "well hello Benjamin, how are you trouble?? I hope you have been a good boy" he responded by rubbing his body along my hand and curling up in my lap. I didn't know what to expect but opened the letter. 

Lea, 

I hope you got back safe and had a wonderful time. I am sorry for everything that happened, I can't excuse my behaviour so don't know what to say. 

I told Tom and we spent a week apart but after a lot of talking we have decided that everyone makes mistakes and it is time to move on. I can only hope we will be able to do the same.

We have gone on a short break, I gave the key to your mum to look after Benjamin but he was good and your mum was happy to do it. 

We need to talk when I am back please. Just drop me a text and I will be wherever you need me to be.

Love Dee xxx

I put the letter down taking a drink of my water, I still didn't know how to feel. Dee is my best friend and I have known her for years but I didn't like the person I saw. She knew she had done wrong but how could she have strayed so easily. Was it Sals celebrity status or was there something I didn't know about Dee and Toms relationship. I couldn't think about it right now, it was early evening I was jet lagged and all I wanted was a nice shower. 

As I finished drying my hair I looked at the time. I got changed and ready for bed and set myself up to FaceTime Brian. After one ring there was an answer.   
"Hey Lea, how was your flight?"  
"It was good but crowded and long. Glad to be in bed!" He laughed at me, "isn't it about 8 in the evening over there?" "Yes but I am tired so have decided to be an old lady for the evening alright?" I answered pushing my bottom lip out.   
We sat in silence looking at each other. It wasn't uncomfortable silence we just seemed happy to kind of be in each other's company.   
"I wish I was there with you" I said to him after a couple of minutes. "I told you come move here, you will find a job and be around me all the time. Fresh start??" I laughed not sure how to respond once again. "I will think about, I promise." I then went on to tell him about the letter from Dee. "What do you think I should do?" I asked him "I'm still hurt that Sal got hurt and I don't know how I will react if I see her." I admitted to him. "Meet her in a public place then, keeps your temper under control and it may make you feel more comfortable". I agreed before telling him I needed to get some sleep I had work the next day and I was not looking forward to going back to normal life. 

The next week was boring, I went to work came home and spoke to Brian that was all. I felt like a zombie and it didn't help that I seemed to have caught a bug. I kept getting stomach pains and feeling sick but knew I couldn't call in sick to work. Things seemed different there and I didn't know why. We had a meeting today, it was a Thursday so I wasn't quite sure why but the whispers around the office said it was a big announcement.   
I got to my desk and put my bag down. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up, Adam was standing there and called the small group of 8 PA's into his office. "So I guess you have heard through office chatter that things are changing around here, you haven't heard wrong" we all looked at each other, being the easily replaceable part of the company was making us nervous. "The company is still going strong so none of you need to worry about your jobs. However I am moving to our other office up north which means you guys get a new manager!!" I felt my stomach twist, Adam knew my background, he was understanding of the situation that sometimes it was impossible for me to even get out of bed in the mornings. He was leaving and I was stuck with a new manager that doesn't know me and may not be as understanding to my situation. "I will introduce you to the new guy individually a bit later, I just wanted to let you know before you heard it from anyone else." With that we all returned to our desks, whilst walking back I found myself walking as fast as I could to the ladies, as soon as I had turned the corner I ran into a cubicle and was sick. I was nervous and on top of this not feeling great it was bound to do things to my insides. I knew there was no option of going home so I washed my face and made my way back to the desk. On my way back I was stopped by a delivery guy. "Hi, I am looking for a Lea Riley, I have a delivery for her" I must of had a blank look on my face as he had to ask me again if I knew who Miss Riley was. "Oh sorry, that's me! Who is sending me packages?" "I don't know I just deliver" and with that he placed the box in my arms. I placed it on my desk and couldn't help but open it. This was when I couldn't help but laugh out loud much to the disapproval of the people around me. I pulled the lid back and was greeted by a "team Q" t-shirt. There was also a picture drawn by Milana for her Auntie Lea. I moved it to one side and there was a letter, it simply read 

I miss you and love you. I want you to know I am thinking about you and I am not the only one. Book first, present second - B

I picked up the book, it was a scrapbook and when I opened it the lonely feeling I have most of the time faded away. It was full of photos Brian took whilst we were in New York, under each one he had written were it was taken and throughout the photos he had left notes about why he likes the photo so much. I flicked through them and after ample photos of me and him i started to see photos of everyone I met, photos of me and the guys, me and Bessy and Milana, the last photo was of me, Brian and his mum and dad. By each photo they had written something about how they met me or how happy they are to see Brian happy or the both of us together. I turned the last page to simply read the following 

We know you feel lonely sometimes but you don't need to, you have a family right here waiting for you all you need to do is pick up a phone and we are there. We miss you xxxx

A photo was placed above it of all of them together, I couldn't help but smile, they made me feel complete. I know I have my family here but I rarely saw them and I didn't really have any friends here. I went to place the book back in the box when I saw the other present. I picked it up and unwrapped it, it was a photo frame. Turning it round I didn't know what I would find but was shocked to see a photo of me and Brian. It was taking at the photoshoot I attended when they were in London, all the photos turned out awful but this one was taken when we weren't looking, we were obviously just about to kiss but we were looking deep into each other's eyes and I was on my tip toes to reach Brian, my arms over his shoulders and his round my waist. It was black and white and just then I realised what people meant when they said we looked happy. It was like there was no one else around us, I put the other bits into the box and placed the photo frame on my desk. I picked up my phone and text Brian a thank you letting him know he made my day and I would speak to him later. It was like they knew I would need that pick me up today, I got on with my work for the next couple of hours when Adam made his way back out to the desks. "Nice photo" he said picking it up and smiling to me, "things going well I see, isn't that?" I nodded, I knew he watched the show and he recognised Brian straight away, he kept going on about how jealous he was I was seeing them in London. "I don't even want to know how it happened but I'm glad you are happy, ready to meet the new boss?" He asked leading me to his office. 

After about half an hour I walked out of the office over to my desk, I picked up the box under my desk and started collecting my things. I couldn't stop shaking and I could feel everyone's eyes watching me. I said my goodbyes and left the office, as I stepped in the lift Adam caught up and got in with me. "I'm so sorry" he said "I didn't realise the whole story and I have no control over decisions" I just smiled and turned to him as the doors opened. "Goodbye Adam thank you for everything, you have been amazing and it no reflection on you. Good luck". I made my way out of the building, I needed to speak to Brian I didn't know what to do. Dialling with shaking fingers I held the phone up to my ear. It was his answerphone, I left a message simply saying

"Hey Bri, it's me. I didn't know what to do but I just found out my new boss is Rick and handed in my notice. I don't know what to do? Please call me, I love you" 

I counted to ten and made my way to my car, what did my life have in store for me now?


	18. What a difference a day makes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It never rains, it pours!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update, hope you are enjoying, comments always welcome xx

Getting to my house I walked into the front room and say on the sofa. I burst out crying, it took me a while to get home as I kept having to stop because I kept hyperventilating. I felt dizzy and without warning emptied the contents of my stomach onto the hardwood floor. "What is going on with me?" I asked myself crying and making my way to the kitchen to get some towel to clean up after myself. That didn't do much good for my stomach as I ran to the bathroom laying on the floor with my arms wrapped around the toilet bowl. I'm not sure how much time had passed but I was woken up by my phone vibrating across the floor, I realised I had fallen asleep on the bathroom floor I reached across and answered the phone. "Hey baby girl, sorry was in filming and I couldn't have my phone on me due to the punishment, you ok?" Before I could say anything he carried on "of course you aren't ok? You quit? How comes your still in your work clothes? Why are you on the bathroom floor?" With that I dropped my phone and continued to throw my head down the toilet "Lea, LEA!! What is going on?" I looked back at my phone and saw a panicked Brian. "I am fine I just have a bug or something, I don't think stress is helping. I am going to go to the doctors tomorrow." He nodded still with a worried look on his face, I got up off the floor and moved back to the front room " I will be fine, I have given up my job and it probably wasn't the best move with house payments to make etc but I will work it out. I will go and sign on tomorrow and I may even see if I can speak to Dee too. Part of me wishes I had never come back." We continued talking for a while but he could see I was evidently tired. "Have a shower and go to bed but please call me as soon as you are out of the doctors." I nodded before we said our goodbyes. I had some toast and a long hot shower before crawling into bed. I picked up my phone and text Dee 

Hey, I am home and settled. Did you want to meet for that chat tomorrow? Coffee in the afternoon?

I didn't get a response before I fell asleep and had a long well needed rest. 

\-------------------------------------------------

The next morning I woke up to my alarm, knowing I had to get up to go and wait at my doctors for an appointment, I threw on my jeans and a strappy top with Brians hoody and some battered converse. Putting my hair up in a high pony I fed Benjamin Jnr and made my way out the door. I was sitting in the waiting room looking at my phone. I still had no response from Dee, about an hour later my name was called and I made my way into the room. After explaining to my doctor my symptoms she decided I needed to have a blood test and a urine test and sent me back into the waiting room. I text Brian to let him know and after the blood test I looked at my phone to see a text from Dee

Meet you at Costa in town at 12? Dee

Looking at my watch it was 9:45 now so didn't seem to be an issue, half an hour to get to town and an hour or so looking around. Window shopping only, I thought to myself reminding me of my current financial situation. I went to the front desk to make myself an appointment to get my results when the receptionist asked me to take a seat. "The doctor has something she wants to speak to you about, please can you take a seat?" Confused i agreed and sat down. Ten minutes later I made my way into her room, "Hi Lea, thanks for waiting. I am going to need to ask you not to take the medication I gave you, I have the results of your urine test and we are fast tracking your blood test to get some result later today, please can you come back in and see me this afternoon?" I started to panic, I could feel myself hyperventilating, "please don't worry yourself we just want to get some results and then speak to you later is that ok?" "That's fine, shall I make an appointment at the desk?" She shook her head "that won't be necessary, I will book you in for 4 this afternoon just come back then and we will discuss everything further." I made my way out of the surgery and got to my car, I decided to go into town and get parked before calling Brian. About 40 minutes later I was parked, looking at my watch it was 11, making it 6am in New York. I figured I would call Brian, he asked me too after all but didn't think he would appreciate the wake up call. After about 5 rings he answers in a groggy voice. "Lea, how are you? How was the doctors?" I explained about having to go back, which seemed to wake him up all of the sudden. "I am sure it is nothing to worry about, but I will call you about half 11 to let you know, is that ok?" He went quiet for a bit before answering sounding unsure "of course it is, should be fine." I explained I was going to meet Dee and we said our goodbyes, I made my way in and saw Dee sitting at a table, I got myself a coffee and made my way over to her. 

"Hey how are you?" I said pulling out a chair  
"I'm good, did you have a good time?" I nodded, something was off she wouldn't look at me and I couldn't work out why, she didn't have the time to say anything to me or have a normal conversation. I hadn't done anything wrong and it was making me angry. "I need to say something and you won't like it. Tom and me need a fresh start, I love him and the more I think about this the more none of this would of happened if I hadn't gone to New York. How are things with you and Brian are you still together ?" I looked at her confused "yeah we are really good thanks l, what are you trying to say?"   
She looked me dead in the eyes "the whole time you are together, we can't be friends, I don't need you having Sal in our lives it isn't fair?" I laughed, I couldn't help it "so because you couldn't keep it in your trousers, we can't be friends?" She nodded, "unless things don't work out with you and Brian?" I crossed my arms feeling myself getting uptight. "I am not breaking up with someone just to be your friend, that's messed up!" She just slightly laughed to herself and shook her head "well that's it then, good luck with everything". She got up picking up her takeaway coffee cup, she knew she wouldn't be here long. "All those years of friendship down the drain?" I asked she just turned and shrugged before walking off. I was so angry I couldn't believe it, it was really that easy for her. I say in the coffee shop thinking about my options and money saving ideas. Jotting it all down in the back of my diary I managed to work out if I was a temp for a while I could afford to live till i found a new job. 

Later that afternoon I walked into the doctors for my appointment, I sat in the consultation room and my doctor sat across from me.   
"So before we start Lea, how are you?" She asked, she knew everything about me seeing me through various anxiety issues and tests and hospital admissions. "How is the love life, last time we spoke you had broken up with your other half, Rick wasn't it?" I nodded, she ended up making a house call to me after we broke up as I couldn't even leave my bed and wasn't eating or sleeping, I had completely forgotten. "Yeah it's ok thank you, I am seeing someone but I met him whilst he was on holiday over here so it's long distance" she smiled before asking "how long distance?" "He is American, lives in New York so a bit of a commute but we are willing to make it work, if my head will let me" I laughed at her as she smiled back at me. "I have your test results Lea, we can do more tests but I am happy to tell you that you are expecting". Next thing I know I was waking up on the bed in the surgery, I looked confused at my doctor. "You passed out, a bit of shock about the news I think also your iron levels are low so I need you to rest, congratulations" she pulled me in for a hug, the next half hour was full of her giving me leaflets and informations. Telling me I will need to go for tests, but I should be happy as this is a miracle given that they told me due to my condition I would never be pregnant. On my way home I was thinking, I lost a best friend today but I gained a new life growing inside of me and that made me so happy, I squealed to myself thinking about it. After getting in I put my tablets on the kitchen side, before grabbing a drink making my way to the front room and face timing Brian. I couldn't wait to share the news, I was about 7 weeks which means it would have been when he was in London, I couldn't decide if he would think this was good or bad. A baby is always good news I thought to myself, but I also told him it was impossible for me to get pregnant, if I hadn't said that would he of been more careful? There was no going back now I thought. He didn't answer the FaceTime, so I called him thinking he may not of got any internet signal. After about ten minutes I called him as a normal call, there was an answer almost straight away but no one spoke, "Brian?" I said confused "oh hey, Q is busy" a female voice answered, "is that my phone, who is it?" I hear Brian call out in the background, I feel sick before hanging up. My life was falling apart, no job, no friends and yet another cheating boyfriend with a baby on the way, what had happened?


	19. What to do now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was not the new Lea was expecting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been so long, will get back into it now

A week had gone past and I had missed calls nearly every day. I had decided I was strong enough to do this on my own. If Brian was going to cheat on me then it was jus fate telling me I can do this and don't need to rely on anyone.   
I had got myself a job in a small boutique in my local town just selling vintage clothes, I had an interest in it but it was minimal stress and I could leave work at work and at home concentrate on myself. I had been back to the doctors for a check up and they were happy that I was no longer anaemic but wanted me to take supplements just in case.   
I got home one Saturday to missed calls from Brian once again. I wanted to speak to him but knew I was not strong enough to deal with it and keep calm. I sent a simple text after "please stop calling, it was all a mistake and I need to get on with my life"   
I sat on the sofa sobbing whilst writing it and it took all of my energy to press send. Within 2 minutes my phone rang, it rang for 30 minutes straight! I turned it on silent and put it on the table going to the kitchen to get myself a drink. When I got back into the living room I curled up on the sofa with a book and Benjamin curled up by my stomach, he was doing this a lot recently and was becoming quite protective of me, at least someone is, i thought to myself.   
I woke up a couple of hours later on the sofa, I didn't even look at my phone and made my way up to bed. I could deal with everything tomorrow but right now I just needed to sleep. I had cried so much over the last week and it really had taken all of my energy not to call or text Brian or to be my normal self flying off the handle or being so upset I stay in my house and become a hermit. 

I woke up and looked at my clock, 10:15. I had slept over 12 hours, the sun coming through the curtain nearly blinding me I stretched all the sudden feeling sick and my lazy morning suddenly being cut short thanks to the horrific morning sickness I was getting. After nearly an hour I got myself in the shower and into fresh clothes before making my way to the kitchen ,Benjamin sitting there waiting to be fed. "Sorry little man, you must be starving, lets get you some food", I put down some food and put the kettle on for myself, making myself some toast as well to try and settle my stomach. I really didn't know what to do with myself, I wanted to cheer myself up and start looking at things for the baby, arrange decorating but didn't want to jinx myself only being 8 weeks. I went into the front room and dared to pick up my phone, there were a few more missed calls and then 1 text, I opened it up and didn't know how to feel. 

"Lea, I am so sorry, I don't know what I have done. We were fine and then everything stopped, you don't call or text or answer to me. I know you said you wanted to speak to me and that you had news but I honestly didn't think it would be to break up with me or that you wouldn't even do it over the phone. I know you had your reservations but I thought we were going to prove them wrong, thought it was you and me against everyone else and we were going to have a future. I will respect your wishes but you will always be special to me, I love you and will miss you, Brian xx"

I didn't know how to feel, was I upset because he was confirming its over between us or upset because he was lying about seeing someone behind my back and thinking I was stupid enough not to realise. I decided that was the confirmation I needed and the blessing I had to move on. 

****2 WEEKS LATER****

I had carried on with my life, feeling better about myself everyday. I was working and making sure that nothing got in the way of me and the life growing inside of me. I had come off of all social media and become a bit of a recluse but I was happy, I still had my bad days and I missed Brian so much but I put it down as an experience, I couldn't trap him with the news of a baby definitely as it hadn't been 12 weeks so I was still against telling anyone at all. 

I was sorting the house out, putting things into storage making room and plans for when the baby came, I was on countdown, 2 weeks and I could start buying things, decorating and starting to make it a home for the both of us. It was my day off and early spring, I was out in the garden enjoying some of the little sun we get when my phone rang. It was a number I didn't recognise and I make a habit of not answering them but I was waiting for a call about my 12 week scan appointment and was ok excited to let it go to voicemail. "Hi this is Lea speaking".....silence, this wasn't my appointment. "Hello??" I was about to hang up when I just heard a whisper and a sob, "who is this??"   
"Lea, its Bessy, I am so sorry to bother you, I don't know what to do and they would be mad if they knew I had called"   
Alarm bells were going off straight away, why was she calling, why was she whispering and she had obviously been crying.  
"I didn't mean to call you, we have all missed you, I don't know what has happened and I am sorry but is Brain with you?? We haven't seen him for a week..... Oh god Joe, hi what are you doing??"   
I didn't know what to think or do, Brian was missing and they were calling me?? The guys didn't want me to know? All the sudden a familiar voice came on the phone "Lea it's Joey, get yourself a drink and get comfy will call back in 5" with that the phone went dead. I went back inside, put the kettle on feeling so confused, what was going on why were they calling me. 

5 minutes later I was sitting on the sofa when my phone rang, they were face timing me, I answered and was met by not just the 2 faces I was expecting but 4 faces, all looked drained and worried.   
"Hi guys, what is going on??" I asked as soon as it connected. I will never forget the look on their faces, Joe looked serious with his arm around Bessy, Bessy looked worried and like she hadn't slept. Murr was chewing at his finger nails and Sal looked angry and upset all at the same time.  
They took turns telling me how they had wrapped filming a week ago and now none of them had heard from Brian.   
"I haven't spoken to him since the split, its been about 3 weeks" I answered then nearly jumped as Sal screamed "3 weeks, you guys have broken up for 3 weeks!!" I nodded not sure where this was going, Joe very calmly explained that they had no idea we had broken up, Brian had been telling them we were fine and he was flying me back over, how I was moving in with him, he had even been looking at new furniture and a car for me. I was so confused, why hadn't he told them. Then they told me something I never wanted to hear, Sal started speaking. "He had been acting a little weird but only after afternoon at mine, we were recording a podcast and Jenna, my sister, answered his phone, she helps out every now and again after dropping my niece off if I'm looking after her for the day. That day Brian said he missed a call from you, that must of been a few weeks ago, do you know about that?"   
I swallowed feeling sick, "i think i have messed up, I just saw red when a woman answered his phone, she didn't tell me who she was" I started to cry. Murr kept calling my name "Honey I need you to listen to us, we went to his house after realising none of us have spoken to him for a week, there was a lot of empty bottle, photos of you guys and.....well there was some blood. His phone is there as well we cant find him, no one has seen him. Can we assume he isn't with you?? We will need to get the police involved."   
I nodded, "he isnt with me, what have I done??" Sal piped up, "you haven't done anything, but you should of spoken to him about this your as stubborn as each other. If you hear from him call us, I think it may be a good idea for you to come over, do you want to?"   
"I can't I am busy and I just really can't" thinking all the time about the baby.   
"Well if you change your mind or hear anything let us know, we miss you" Joe said before cutting the phone up. 

I sat on the sofa not quite believing what was happening, Brian had lied to his friends, hurt himself been drinking and was missing. I wanted to call him but there was no point if he had left his phone there, we're they dealing reporting I'm as a missing person? Just then my phone went off making me jump. It was a text from Bessy with an attachment, it simply read  
"Not wanting to fly when Brian is missing?? I will show you mine, you show me yours??" Underneath was a picture of a sonogram, Bessy was pregnant!! I was so happy but how did she work out I was, what if she had told the others. Do I just deny it?? 

I couldn't think about that right now though, I had messed up being so paranoid and the main question was, where is Brian Quinn?


	20. Unexpected visitor?

It had been another couple of weeks, I had kept in touch with the guys. They had kept me up to date and the police had spoken to me about the last time I had spoken to Brian. I hadn't heard from his parents, I wanted to contact them but Joey had told me it was better to leave them as they were used to him doing this, I couldn't help but feel like it was all my fault. As much as they told me it wasn't. 

Bessy had been in contact the most, she hadn't said anything again about the pregnancy, I congratulated her and asked her how she was getting on but didn't confirm mine. She kept asking questions but i was just very subtly working my way out of them. It was finally the day of my 12 week scan, I had been so preoccupied that I didn't even realise till I looked at the calendar that morning. 

I made my way to work for a couple of hours and then made my way to the hospital, I parked up and sat patiently waiting. It felt so weird to me that I was alone for something I had waited for for so long. "Lea, Lea??" They had been calling my name and I hadn't even realised, I walked in and after them talking to me and explaining what was happening I laid there patiently waiting for the scan. After about 30 seconds (that felt like a week) I turned to look at the screen, it was just a mass of black and white and didn't look like the sonogram Bessy sent me, my stomach dropped. What was wrong? I looked at the doctor who smiled at me and pressed a button, "if you listen you can hear the heartbeats", I laid there everything seemed fine the doctor wasn't panicked but the picture didn't look right on the sonogram and the heartbeat seemed out of rhythm and fast. "You will have your hands full when they are born" she smiled at me printing off some pictures and wiping my stomach.   
"They are born?" I asked everything falling into place  
"Yes, you are expecting twins, congratulations." She then showed me the sonogram, it made more sense now. Twins, I couldn't believe I was lucky enough for 1 but now I get 2. I thanked the doctor, took a photo and sent it to Bessy. I figured now it was confirmed I could let someone know, someone who would keep it quiet. "Please keep this quiet but I guess I cant keep it secret forever" and attached the photo. I then drove home, I sat on my drive and picked up my phone to a message from Bessy  
"I am so happy that you finally told me, was starting to think I was going crazy, congratulations! I am taking it that Brian doesn't know,was that what the call was about to him when Jenna answered? I will keep it secret for as long as you ask me to but please don't stress out and I am only a phone call away xx"   
I put my phone back in my bag and made my way into the house. I made a cup of tea and fed Benjamin, picked up the post and made my way out to the garden, I froze when I looked up someone was in my garden laying on my patio, what the hell! I wasn't sure what to do they were curled up and looked like someone who was off the streets, had they climbed over my fence?   
"Hello?? Can i help?" I shouted making sure I was close enough to the door to get in the house if I needed to with my phone ready in my hand. They started coughing and moved around to sit up, the we're definitely homeless, skinny and looked like they hadn't had it easy for a while. "Lea??" It hit me all the sudden, it was Brian. He looked like he had been sleeping rough, hadn't eaten in weeks, showered or had any human interaction. Instinct took over and I ran over to him, he held his hands out and help my face, he smelt of alcohol and damp, he looked more unkept as usual. "What are you doing?? Can you get up?" I asked. "I have missed you I need to talk to you, I need to know what happened." I helped him up, it didn't seem hard he had no strength and leant up against me walking towards the house. " I didn't want to be found until I knew what was happening with us, it must of been weeks" he said turning his head to look at me. "Brian no one has heard from you for just over 4 weeks, let's get you cleaned up and some food. There are some phone calls I need to make" I said back to him closing the door behind us. He just nodded looking defeated. I sat him in the bathroom and ran a bath, as it was running i looked at the time. 4 in the afternoon, means its an acceptable time in New York, I thought FaceTime would be easier and Joe would be the calmest, Brian looked so fragile I didn't want to spook or stress him out. He was just staring at the wall, it started to ring and was pretty much picked up after the second ring. I was face to face with Milana. "Hey monster, where is mumma?" I said to her as she started laughing, all the sudden i heard footsteps, Joes face appeared. "Hey Lea, you ok? No updates yet." "Yeah about that" i said moving my way round to sit in front of Brian" Joe just stared at him "Hey bud, where have you been hiding? We missed you" with that Brian started to sob, I went to get him a drink and get some food in the oven leaving him talking to Joe. I hated seeing him this upset, I walked back towards the bathroom and stood in the doorway, I dont think he realised I was there. "I am sorry I didn't mean to take off, I didn't want to lose her, I had to come find her but when I got here I didn't know if she wanted to see me, so I have been sleeping in a local park, just keeping my head down fighting with what she asked me to do and what I wanted to do." I coughed making my presence known, "Joey, I am going to get him fed and cleaned up, can we call later?" He just nodded and smiled at us, "see you guys later ok? Lea I will do the calling round, let the cops know but will ask no one to contact you ok, you dont need more stress" he smiled and winked at me, did he know, had Bessy told him?   
I turned my attention back to Brian, who had literally swallowed the pint of orange juice in two mouthfuls, I had no idea the last time he drank was but i knew it was whisky! I started to get his clothes off to get him in the bath, they had all been wet and I figured should probably be thrown away rather than washed. He flinched as i took off his jumper, then I saw it his arms were covered with dry blood, as I remembered what Murr said about them finding blood in the house, he had cuts on the tops of his arms, the more I undressed him the more I found, his stomach and his legs. He just looked at me the whole time not saying a word.   
"Let's get you cleaned up shall we?" I said helping him into the bath, I sat on the bath sponging the dirt and blood off of him, all he kept doing was apologising. I washed his hair and did my best to shave his beard down to an acceptable length with what I had available. "I have some food in the oven, only some pizza but you need to eat ok?" I smiled at him, I was worried he hardly had said 2 words to me, he just looked into my eyes and looked hurt. By the time he had eaten and had given him some paracetamol for any pain he was in I got him back upstairs and in to my bed, "You need to sleep, we will talk in the morning ok? Brian is that ok? You will be here in the morning wont you?" I started to feel myself getting frustrated. "I'm not leaving you at all unless you make me, but please can you stay in here with me>" he nearly begged me, I know I shouldn't of but all my feelings came back, I loved him and was carrying his children not that he had any idea about that, he was so fragile. "Of course" I said climbing in to bed next to him. "Let's get some sleep and we will talk tomorrow ok? It's been a weird day" I said to him turning the lamp off. " I have missed you" he said kissing my forehead before falling straight to sleep. I couldn't help but smile, once he was asleep I picked my phone up and sneaked out and sat on the top stair. Calling Bessy I waited for her to answer and give me an update. She let me know everyone knew including the police, Sal was arranging to go to his house and clean, and his parents were expecting me to call them tomorrow once I had calmed him down a bit. I explained about the state he was in, the fact he hadn't eaten for days or drank anything sensible in weeks. The cuts on his body and how some seemed quite old but others were more recent, I would think as recent as today. I told her how I felt how I want to be with him again but we would need to talk and I cant have him act like this in my current situation. She then gasped "oh my god, I forgot about that for a second. Twins that is crazy!!" I smiled and made my excuses to go back to bed. I went back in and he was still lying there fast asleep. I knew tomorrow was going to be exhausting but I was willing to be exhausted if it meant us giving it another go. I had missed him but I didn't know how to tell him and how would he react when he found out he was going to be a dad?


	21. The talk

I don't remember what time i fell asleep but i know i woke up at least every hour to make sure that he was still there. I let him sleep as much as possible as his sleep seemed to bother him, i found myself slowly brushing his hair from his face whispering to him that everything was going to be ok. 

I looked at the clock, 10am. I climbed over him to go down to the kitchen, i made some toast and coffee, and got him some more painkillers. Making my way back upstairs I got a wave of morning sickness, leaving the tray on my dresser, i quickly and quietly ran to the bathroom and threw myself down at the toilet. After about 15 minutes i made my way back in to the bedroom and sat on the side of the bed.

"Wake up Brian" i said softly, once again moving the hair from his face. He stirred and then sat up quickly. Looking confused about where he was, he started to run and held my face. "Lea?? I thought it was a dream you're really here, you stayed with me?". "Of course I did, its my house, where was I going to go?" I said laughing at him, he smiled and let out a low laughed, it seemed like he hadn't laughed for weeks. "Eat some breakfast, I want to get you washed up again and check your cuts then we can talk, if you feel ready?" I said testing the ground. He nodded and started to eat.   
"As you are eating and I need to leave you to get showered, are you ok if I quickly pop into town, I will only be half hour at most, just need to get you some clothes and bits ok? We can go out again and get you more if you need ok?" Looking for some kind of confirmation from him, he just looked at me staring. "Brian is that ok? Please don't close up on me again."  
"That's fine, sorry just warm food is good and I am tired. Sorry, I don't mean to worry you, go and I will see you when you get back." 

I drove in to town in record time, parked up and ran round the shops like a mad woman. first of all getting him some clothes, I figured the comfiest the best but we did still need to go out and didn't want him to feel self conscious. I got him jeans, jogging bottoms, a couple of tshirts and a hoody. Whilst waiting to pay i grabbed a cheap pair of trainers just so he had something clean to put on and make him feel better. I then went to the pharmacy, picking up toiletries and a few bits to help me keep there worst of the cuts clean, I didn't like to admit it but I had my own experience in this so know what I needed. I then grabbed him a beard trimmer, I needed him to look more human and after me hacking away at him last night he looked even worse.   
Pulling into the drive I took a deep breath and got the bags out the car making my way to the house. I walked in and heard the tv, going into the front room I found him sitting on the sofa with a towel wrapped round him, eyes closed and curled up on his lap, Benjamin. I smiled before making my way over to him, he looked better already. "Hey i got you some bits" i said smiling. He took the bags "thank you, i will go and start making myself look more presentable" he half laughed at me making his way upstairs. I sat there fighting with my feelings for a moment. I left it 10 minutes and followed him up, i needed to get ready too and didn't want to leave him alone too much. Looking at my watch, knowing it would be about 6am for the guys i decided to leave it a while before texting them. I got to the bedroom and saw him plugging in the beard trimmer to charge it. "You didn't need to do all this" he said smiling at me but looking at his feet. "I wanted to" i smiled back at him, making my way to the bathroom. I got in the shower, trying to go through things in my head. Washing my hair, I heard the door open. Out the corner of my eye I watched Brian go to the sink and start to clean himself up, brushing his teeth and trimming his beard. I stepped out the shower and grabbed a towel, worried he would see my swollen stomach. I moved over to walk past him and he stopped me, moving me in front of him looking in the mirror. I had flashbacks of the time in the club, with his larger frame behind me. I need to stop thinking of that, I said to myself, that is not where his mind is. He started brushing through my hair, looking into my eyes through the mirror, with him all cleaned up he looked so handsome. I moved myself out to the bedroom, getting dressed in some leggings and an oversized t-shirt, he got dressed too and we made our way downstairs. We sat in the kitchen, whilst I got the stuff ready to clean and dress his cuts. I lifted off his t-shirt and apologised to him in case i hurt him, from my previous experience i knew that it could sting like a bitch when cleaning them. Making my way over them there were only about 4 that needed dressing or that hadn't healed or started to heal already. "Why do this to yourself Brian, why get that low?" He lifted my head with his hand "i thought i had lost you, i thought you never wanted to see me again, I couldn't deal with that, and i know I shouldn't put that pressure on you, i never thought you would find out." He said. I stood up off the floor and turned to the sink, "I know how you feel, but please don't do it again we don't need this pressure right now.......i never stopped loving you you know that, right?" i turned back smiling at him. The we comment had gone right over his head, i was trying to subtly test the water and it had fallen flat. Before I had a chance to say anything else he stood up and came striding towards me, grabbing my waist he kissed me hard, I know this wasn't how to fix things but I couldn't help but kiss him back even harder. He lifted me up, sitting me on the work surface and making his way between my legs, in this moment I know i had missed him so much, it wasn't purely physical but I hadn't felt this close to anyone in such a long time. He kissed down to my neck, "you smell so good, i miss how you taste" he said to me, his voice getting husky, i knew exactly what this meant, he worked his hand into my underwear and easily slid his fingers into me, I knew I should have stopped him there but as i went to he looked me dead in the eyes and held his hand still inside me, "i love you so much, i am making everything up to you if you let me?" I nodded slowly as he moved his hand and took off my trousers. He never took his eyes off mine when he entered me so easily, it felt like nothing had changed and the last 4 weeks had been a dream. It was fast and rough and I think we both needed it just to get a fix of each other. He held on to me and pulled me to the floor where i just sat with my legs wrapped round him, taking in every inch of his face. "We need to talk" I said to him as i lifted myself from his lap and got dressed, i held my hand out helping him to his feet "come on old man, did you want a drink?" He nodded and stood back whilst I made some coffee, he kept holding onto my waist, kissing my neck. We needed a conversation and needed it now. I didn't want to tell him about the babies, not yet, but I did want to know what the plans were for us as at the moment I didn't know what to do and I needed Brian to be better in himself I couldn't spook him and loose him all over again. 

We move to the sofa. The conversation was long, we spoke for about 5 hours without even realising, mainly about him , some of it was heated out of frustration. He asked me to explain why I broke it off, I explained after calling and Jenna answering I feared the worse and needed to close myself off as emotions were high. He tried to argue that I should of spoken to him about it but understood where I was coming from as he did the same when he saw me with Rick before.  
He told me how when filming finished he started drinking, then fell in to a habit of just cutting himself a couple of times as a way of punishing himself for not fighting for me. He then decided to come and fight for me, find out what happened. He has spend weeks in a park not that far away from my house, he didn't want to use cards to book into a hotel as he didn't want to be found and then he lost his confidence when he got here. He was in a state but said he wanted to give us a chance, I told him I missed him and I wanted to contact him but couldn't as i was embarrassed. We both wanted to be together but needed. to be open and honest if this was going to work. Then he asked the question I was dreading, "what are we going to do about the living situation?" I didn't know why to say, we spoke about this briefly before I called it off and I considered moving to New York. "Brian I know that we want this to work but we need to take it a step at a time, we will carry on as we were, talk every day, you need to go home and I will stay here but we will make an effort to see each other as often as we can". After talking for so long I was exhausted. It was decided he would stay with me for the next week and then we would go from there, I wanted to get a doctors appointment in this time depending on how it was going towards the end of the week. He needed to know about the babies, I couldn't hide it for long. 

Whilst lost in a day dream my phone started ringing, it was joe face timing us, I picked it up and answered. Al the sudden we were faced with all 3 guys and Bessy. "hi guys, how is everything?" Joe asked. I let Brian do the talking, explaining what was happening and I just sat there taking in everyone's faces, they all looked as relieved as me, I knew as long as we had them in our lives and their support everything would be ok. After that call I said Brian should probably call his parents, I left the room whilst he did this and let him explain everything that is going on, all the sudden I heard my name being called, I made my way back into the room to be faced with his parents, "Hi Mr and Mrs Quinn how are you?". "We are better now" his mum answered smiling, "please never feel like any of this is your fault lea, we were angry and worried at the situation never you." Then his Dad started speaking "Brian has a habit of doing things like this we are used to it but if you are part of his life then we are happy about that and want to welcome you to the family". I started crying, to feel accepted after being the reason their son went off the rails meant so much to me, i was certain they would hate me forever. We said our goodbyes and spent the rest of the day content in each other's company. We watched films and got a takeaway, "tomorrow we need to get you some clothes and go shopping" I smiled whilst turning off the lights making my way upstairs, he groaned "if we must, but I would rather just spend the day in bed with you" he threw me over his shoulder and ran to the bedroom. Yes, everything was back to how it was, but there was going to be 2 big surprises to make him aware of as soon as I could.


	22. Surprise

It had been a week since I found Brian in my back garden, we had been talking bit by bit and building up a relationship but still agreed we were taking it slow. He looked more human now but I still had not told him about the babies. Passing off my sickness as a bug going around, luckily he missed most of it by catching up on any lost sleep. We spent our days content in each others company making sure that we spoke to the guys and his family. He was due to fly home in a couple of days and I was dreading it.

"what if he freaks out?" I whispered to Bessy whilst sitting out in the garden. "He wont freak out, he will be over the moon, you have underestimated just how much you mean to him." She smiled back, I had arranged for another scan, they needed to check up with me about my iron levels anyway and this way he got to see them before he travelled home. I felt butterflies in my stomach, I had no idea how it was going to sit with him. Whether he was going to be happy or if he was going to think it was all too much, get on the plane for me to never hear from him again.

Just as I said goodbye to Bessy I heard the back door open, "Hey doll" I heard in his low, groggy tone.  
"Oh look who decided to join me!!" I laughed standing up from the decking and wrapping my arms around him. He had just got out the shower and his hair was still wet, he smelt like my Brian and I knew in a couple of days I was going to miss this. I pulled away slightly and looked up at him, "you ready for today?" I asked, "what are we doing?" he said looking confused at me.   
"I figured as it is our last full day together, we could make the most of it, just spend some time together, outside of the house. Then get some dinner and relax before your flight tomorrow, what do you think?" He smiled and pulled me in for another hug, it was getting harder to keep my stomach away from him "perfect" he whispered into my hair.

I was sitting at my dresser getting ready, putting on some make up. "I have to go to the doctors first, its only quick, is that ok?" I felt him behind me straight away, a look of panic on his face. "Is everything ok?" he panicked looking down at me. "it's nothing, just want to get checked as I have had this sickness." I visibly saw him relax, "well that's ok then, when is your appointment?", "in half an hour so we should get moving" I smiled jumping up from my seat, pecking him on the lips and making my way downstairs. I fed Benjamin and picked up my bag as we made our way out the door. I felt sick the second we sat down in the waiting room, I didn't know if it was nerves or morning sickness, I was called almost immediately. Leaving Brian in the waiting room I made my way to the room. I sat down and must of been in there 10 minutes, answering questions about how much better I felt and how I can keep myself as well as possible. "So you would like another scan?" she asked me, smiling, "The father is in the waiting room, is this you announcing it to him?". "I know it seems crazy" I added "I just don't know how to tell him and now that everything is ok and I have passed the 3 month mark I just think visual would be better". I hopped up onto the table and she laid me down, putting the gel on my stomach and then I heard it, those two little thumping noises, telling me I had two lives growing inside of me. She saved the recording and the photo and sat me down again, "Shall we call him in?" she asked. I took a deep breath and nodded. She made her way to the door and within seconds Brian came striding in a worried look on his face. I turned to look at him, aware that I had a screen not that far away from me showing our babies, he didn't even realise was there.  
I took a deep breath and just threw caution to the wind. "Brian, I haven't been completely honest, I did need to come here about my sickness that isn't a lie but the reason behind it is. Please don't freak out I know it has been a hard few weeks but if you just listen to the doctor she will explain." He looked like I had just told him I was dying, all colour went from his face as he turned to face the doctor. "Brian, there is nothing to worry about, in fact congratulations are in order" she stood up from her seat making her way round to the screen, his eyes never moving away from her and gripping onto my hand. With that she pressed a button and there it was again, those little heartbeats. "You're going to be a father, I will give you two a minute." She smiled walking out of the room. I turned to look at him worried about what I would see but then I saw the most beautiful thing, he was smiling, like he did when I first met him, like nothing had happen over the last few weeks and there was nothing bad. "Brian, are you ok?" I asked, he turned the smile not moving, "You're pregnant?? I am going to be a dad?" I nodded it was all I could do. "How long?" he asked. " I am 14 weeks" I said trying to gage his reaction. "Nothing right now could make me happier. Is that the heartbeat?" he asked closing his eyes as he listened. "Nothing could make you happier?" I asked as he looked at me nodding. "Just me, you and our baby." he kissed my hand. "How about 2 babies?" I asked moving over to the screen pointing at the sonogram "one, two".  
With that he burst out crying, wrapping his arms around me. The doctor walked in and printed more photos for us. "Do you mind if I take a recording?" Brian asked, she shook her head as he pulled out his phone and recorded their heartbeats.   
We made our way out of the doctors office and I couldn't stop smiling. Before getting in the car he pinned me up against the side, "I love you Lea, you and our babies", he said dropping down and kissing my stomach before making his way up and kissing me softly on the lips. "off to the zoo!!!" he shouted as he pulled away from the parking space. I could not have imagined this going any better, he was mine and he was happy. Could we really be a family? There was so much that needed to be sorted out, just not quite yet.


	23. Last day

We spent our day walking around the zoo, happy in each other’s company and not thinking about the fact that tomorrow he will be getting on a plane. The occasional fan asked for a photo but apart from that we weren’t particularly recognised. 

We got home after deciding take away was a better idea, after ordering we both sat on the sofa. “So the living situation?” Brian turned to face me, I wasn’t prepared for the question at all and it must of shown on my face “sorry I shouldn’t of asked.” He turned back round to look at the tv. “It’s not that I don’t want to move, it really isn’t I just know this is still quite new and I’m not sure how this will work out. I know I don’t have anything for me here but I still would need a job, and I will have to sell the house” I felt like I was just listing off excuses to him but it really wasn’t the case, I think part of me just thought he might run off again if things got bad.   
“I will give you time, you are always welcome, you are always going to be. I want our family t be in New York though, you must know that I cant move here.” I looked at him and nodded, what else could i do deep down I know that he had the show and a whole life over there. “Let’s see how the next month goes and go from there is that ok?” I asked carefully, worried about upsetting the situation. “That’s fine, when are we going to tell people?” I asked him wanting to give him the option. “ I will go and see my parents this week and tell them but wanted to let you know first and wanted to know what was going on with us.”   
“Well I feel like maybe we should tell people to their faces but I want you there, shall we call them?” He asked me, a grin spread across my face as I smiled. First up was his parents, they started the conversation how they were excited for him going back tomorrow and he broke the news to them, they were so happy, tears on both parts, after a lot of talking and promises of visits to the city we ended the conversation and dinner turned up. We sat in silence on the sofa, pizza box between us just smiling at each other when we caught the other one looking. I cleared the box into the rubbish and bought us a couple of drinks in, “this is going to be loud” he smiled at me dialling Joes number, “ They are all having a bbq at Joes today as filming starts again Monday so at last we will get them all together. “Well hey lovebirds” we were greeted by Joes smiling face “hey are the others there?” I asked as he looked concerned “It’s nothing bad Joesph, Brian is still coming back we just need to talk.” Within a couple of minutes they were all sat around the phone, all looking curious and with a smile on my face Brian started talking “So we have been talking and we are seeing how it goes but there is a chance the Lea may move to Staten Island”. That alone was met with gasps, before anyone could say anything Brian started up again “We also need to tell you guys something, we are going to be a family, 2 more are joining us” they all looked shocked, apart from Bessy and Joe, Sal then spoke up “you and your cats dude, stop it, its like your becoming a crazy cat lady”, “they are having a baby you big dope”, Joe said slapping him round the back of the head, “oh my god” he stared at us, “are you serious” Murr’s voice squeaked looking around like he was missing some information. We all just sat there looking at each other for what seemed like forever, “Well I would like to say congratulations” Bessy smiled as the rest agreed with her, “hold up” Murr said “you said 2??” Cocking his head to one side. “Yeah its twins” I smiled as Brian shoved the sonogram photo up to the camera, they all chatted over it and then Brian played them the heartbeats “It’s like you are a different man” Sal said smiling, “I will come meet you at the airport tomorrow bud” we said our goodbyes and then settled down to watch a film. As the credits rolled I stretched out on the sofa, I had been half asleep most the film whilst Brian ran his hand through my hair. I made sure the doors were locked as Brian checked he had everything ready for tomorrow. I felt so deflated, I couldn’t believe that he was going again so soon but at least I had him back again. I got to the bedroom door and saw him pulling his t-shirt off, he caught me out of the corner of his eye and made his way towards me pulling me towards the bed. “I am not going to hurt them am I, is that a stupid question?” I shook my head and smiled as he took my top over my head, he started kissing me softly as he undressed me, not a word being said, I took off his clothes and went to move onto my knees, he pulled me up shaking his head. “This is all about you” he said smiling rubbing his hands over my stomach sitting me on the bed. He moved his way over me laying on top of me leaning on one arm whilst the other hand traced its way over my body. He sat up pulling me on top of him so I was facing him with my legs straddling him, he kissed me deeply and moaned when i rolled my hips trying to make him aware of the heat pooling between my legs. He didn’t move from my lips as i felt him hard against me, he just held my hips and lifted me slightly pushing me back down onto his hardened cock, moving me slowly and making sure i could feel every inch of him, we carried no like this for a while before he moved his hand and slowly stroked me and the same time making me cum hard over him whilst my head was pressed against his, the sweat making our hair stick to our foreheads making us moving around so much easier. He laid me down, I whimpered slightly as he removed himself to make sure I was comfortable, he then pushed back in, painfully slowly, I wrapped my legs around him lifting my hips every time he pulled away from me not wanting to be away from him too much. He started to get sloppy, kissing my neck and whispering he loved me and he pushed himself deep inside, I could feel him flinching inside me pushing me over the edge again. He rolled off and held me in his arms. “I cant believe you wont be with me this time tomorrow” he said nuzzling his face into my hair. “Brian, I have made a decision” i said moving around to look at him, he furrowed his brows and waited for me to continue “I want to move with you, I will start to put the house on the market and hand in my notice” He smiled “just when I thought I couldn’t get any happier” he smiled kissing me softly and pulling me close. This was a huge decision but right now it was the easiest decision to make.


	24. Here’s where the adventure begins

***2 Months Later***

A lot had happen in the last 2 months, my house had been put on the market, I had an offer going through and had handed in my notice at work. I was getting bigger what seemed like every day, my parents were over the moon but not happy that I was moving away although they did see the reasoning behind it. 

I had arranged for a company to come in and pack some of my stuff up to get shipped, i didn’t need to take a lot of it but certain things I didn’t want to leave behind or sell. They had finished for the day just as I got home from the doctors, i thanked them and walked to the kitchen putting on the kettle, I felt numb. I had gone in for a normal check up and wasn’t expecting the news I got. I sat on the sofa as Benjamin curled up on me and dialled Brian’s number.   
“Well hi mumma, how are you doing?” She said grinning down the camera. I just burst out crying. He moved away from the crew into a quiet corner they were obviously filming in a stock room somewhere. He had got used to my mood swings, especially as I had to cut down on my meds but he could tell by my face something was wrong.   
“Baby, don’t cry what’s wrong” he whispered looking concerned.   
I caught my breath and looked at him “the babies are ok but I had a check up and spoke about the move, she said the stress may not be good for them and there are complications or there could be, which apparently are standard but she has to let me know and...and” I burst out crying again. “Oh baby girl I wish I was there with you, we are going to make this as stress free as possible for y...” “you don’t get it!!” I snapped at him “what happens when I move into yours and you are bored of me, or you change your mind and I’m homeless and have nowhere to go, what do I do then raise children on the street?”   
He laughed at me, he couldn’t help himself and tried to stop but couldn’t. “Oh baby I will be there in a couple of days and then you will be here with me, it won’t happen I promise you that!”   
I just shook my head “I don’t think I can do this anymore, there is no guarantee you will stay. I don’t know what I was thinking and how I am even meant to be becoming a mother. I am useless to myself, I just need to think. I love you” I put the phone down as he was saying he loved me. I sat there and drank my tea staring at the black screen of the tv. I thought about what the doctor said with it being too much stress, looking at my diary the next 2 weeks were pretty full. I had a meal with my family tomorrow as a farewell, I had asked them not to come to the airport with me as I didn’t want an emotional goodbye. Brian was then going to be turning up, I needed to pack for the next couple of weeks until the rest of my stuff turned up. I had all my papers sorted already, then when we got to New York I needed to see the doctor, get checked over and try and find something to occupy my time, whilst finishing off the sale of the house. Just thinking about it exhausted me and knowing that Tru had given me an admin job to help with my permanent visa was only mildly calming me down. Before I knew it I was waking up on the sofa, my neck and back stiff for where I had laid so awkwardly. I had slept through till the morning and didn’t want to move. I looked at my phone to see various messages from Brian  
\- Don’t worry about a thing we will be ok   
\- I love you more than you will ever know the 3 of you are my world  
\- I will spend the rest of my life proving to you how happy you make me   
\- Please remember all of this   
I just sent a text saying sorry, there was nothing else I could say, I felt like an idiot and there wasn’t much I could do about it now. I got up and jumped in the shower, I could feel how swollen my stomach now was, I loved feeling them move knowing I had been more than lucky by having twins, I would give my life for them already nothing can describe the way you feel when you know you are bringing a life into the world. I got out of the shower and threw my hair up shoving on some leggings and and oversized tshirt I opened the suitcase on the bed. How would I even know what to pack?? It was only 2 weeks, it should of been like packing for a holiday but I seemed so much more aware. I just threw general everyday clothes in, a couple of nice outfits and underwear and pyjamas. The hardest thing came next as I sat in front of my bookcase, what books would I take and what ones could I wait for. I knew I could go and buy more but I still felt like I needed my own things with me to make it an easy transition with as little anxiety as possible. I chose a few and shut the suitcase sliding it off of the bed. Looking at the clock it was early afternoon. The doorbell rang and I went running downstairs, “hi guys” I said smiling at the packers once again, they had spend the last couple of days here and this was their last day. “Hi Lea just a couple of boxes left, your bedroom and kitchen mainly then we can pack up the van. Get the process moving.”   
I let them get on with it, reading over the visa paperwork in the front room and making some calls. I then got Benjamin in his carrier and put him in the car. “Be back in a while guys, help yourself to anything in the kitchen” I smiled leaving. I drove to a little office just on the outskirts of the airport, filled out more paperwork, and got benji all settled down. “I will see you in a couple of weeks little man, be good” I smiled tickling under his chin as he purred at me. I got back to the car and suddenly felt very lonely, it became so real all the sudden. I looked at the clock it was nearly 4 and by the time I got home and got ready it would be time to go out. I pulled into the driveway and saw the removal van packed up with them waiting on the porch. “We are all done lea” jeremy smiled helping me out the car. “Well it has been a pleasure” I smiled at them “is there anything else I need to do?” “Not a thing just sign the papers to confirm we have done the job and we will be in contact once the possessions arrive in New York, have an amazing time, I hope everything goes well” I smiled and thanked them, it had been nice to have some company the last few days that wasn’t a little fluff ball. I opened the front door and walked in, it was empty and I mean really empty. I was leaving the sofa and tv for the new buyers, the kitchen was empty apart from the disposable cups, plates and cutlery I had bought. I sat on the sofa and started to cry, I couldn’t help it, it felt like the end of an era even if I only had mostly bad memories here. I took a deep breath and looked at my phone, 5pm, I hadn’t heard from Brian which was unheard of but didn’t know what else I could do. Maybe he had the day off of filming as I knew he was flying to me tomorrow, he could of just been having a really late lay in. I went up and started getting ready for tonight, it was going to be strange saying goodbye to my family and friends. I slipped my shoes on and made my way out the door, got in the car and drove to one of my favourite Italian restaurants. When I got there I saw my Mum, Dad and sister, my brother in law and the kids. Then a couple of my work friends that was pretty much it, I was happy with the turn out as didn’t really want a big send off. People started going one by one, I said goodbye to my niece and nephew, hugged my brother in law then threw myself at my sister “I will miss you, you know that, I know we hardly saw each other but the option was always there, sorry if I ever took that for granted, I love you” she hugged me and told me she loved me back then there was just my Mum, Dad and me. We had a couple more drinks chatting about old times and promises of flying back and them coming to see us once the babies were here. It was an emotional goodbye and by the end of it I wanted to go home to bed. I pulled into the drive, still no messages from Brian, I was starting to get stressed but knew there wasn’t much I could do, I would try to call him when I got in. I opened the door, took my coat and shoes off and locked the door. I turned on the light and made my way up to the bedroom to get changed. I made my way back downstairs, it was eerily quiet and echoed. I got to the front room with a tea and in the dark put it down on the table, as I put the mug down my phone went off, I looked at it turning round to get the light.   
\- From the moment I met you, I knew you would be mine, you are my soul mate, the reason I breathe. You give my life meaning, I love you, Q xxxx   
I looked at my phone and smiled, turned to the sofa and went to reply thinking he told me he would prove it to me, “your daddy is so silly” I smiled rubbing my stomach, I leant forward to get my tea and my phone went off again  
\- I know I told you to never look back but maybe just once? xx  
I looked at my phone, I was so confused and curled down onto the sofa, as I started to type another text came through   
-baby. I meant literally, look back. I love you! xx  
I knelt up on the sofa and looked behind me, Brian was there, suit on and kneeling on one knee with a box held out in front of him.   
“Lea, shut up I need to say something. You are everything to me, I want to spend my life with you to show you everyday how much you have changed my life for the better. I’m not doing this because of the babies or because you are starting a new life with me in New York but because I never want a second where you aren’t mine. You are the reason I wake up, the reason I breathe and the reason I want to exist, so what do you say?? Marry me?? Mrs Lea Quinn does have a nice ring to it!”   
I ran over to him, throwing myself to him on the floor ending up as a big pile of limbs. “Yes of course it’s yes” I smiled at him kissing him all over his face. “Oh thank god, I don’t know how awkward it would of been if you said no!” He smiled at me helping me to my feet, a massive grin across his face. “Here’s where the adventure begins” he kissed me gently on the lips and we stood just staring into each other’s eyes. Here it begins indeed


End file.
